This page used to blather on and on with all the things I thought made me qualified to talk about things on my website and in my books. My philosophy degrees. Various life experiences. Politicians I have gotten drunk with.
(I wish that last one was a joke.)
All of it was just nonsense. We’re talking a major snooze-fest.
My name is Heather Christena Schmidt. I’m a writer. I’m a mom blogger. I’m a stay at home mom and homeschooling parent. And above everything, I’m a misanthrope.
I read a lot. I knit. I cook, even though I hate doing so. And I’m married to a misogynist. I have a very short attention span, and an even shorter amount of patience. I think kids are awesome, unless they are someone else’s. I swear a lot, so if your panties bunch easily I probably won’t be your cup of tea.
I grew up in Chicago, so basically think my taste in food/sports/clothing/fun is better than most others. And I live in southern California, which seems to be on a mission to drive me to the nuthouse. Other than that, I’m just your average bitchy, blunt, sarcastic, joke-cracking wise ass out to spew my vitriolic hostility at the world through my 13 inch Macbook Air. That’s why I’m called a bitch by a lot of people, and probably why so many people hate me.
On the left side-bar thingy, you can click on through to find my book trailers, buy my books, and read my critically acclaimed mom blog, My Mom’s A Bitch. I’m hoping you stick around long enough for me to spew on you a few times. I promise you won’t be disappointed.