Heather Christena Schmidt

5 Things A Housewife Should No Longer Feel She Has To Do


Today I got into a little bit of a tit-for-tat disagreement with my sister-in-law on Facebook (of all places). Keeping in mind that we do not spend much time with this side of the fence (which seems to have created a bit of a rift), she has become increasingly more active as of late in voicing her judgments and opinions on my Facebook. Unfortunately, she is not very educated and terribly immature, and thus opens herself up, then, to the ridicule of my friends and family who know better. A few weeks ago, she posted something about how much she loved Christmas on a webcomic I had shared and a cadre of friends began mimicking her incessant refusal to mind the rules of grammar and punctuation (one poster said “OMG LOL, I can’t wait to get a Hello Kitty toaster !! ! ! ! !”). I, myself, have bit my tongue on a number of occasions – particularly when she spells words like “gross” – grose, such as she did the other day when I posted that I couldn’t wait for a White Castle slider when I get (home) to Chicago in two months.

Today I could not take it anymore, though, because her comments went beyond the realm of simply judgmental, annoying, or inherently stupid. So I said my peace politely, although it left me with a horrible taste in my mouth. The conversation went something like this:

In a Facebook status, I joked about the irony of cleaning before the cleaners come: “Cleaners are on their way which can only mean one thing: must pre clean so we don’t look like slobs.”  A few of my friends commented immediately, indicating that they do the same exact thing, and one friend and I got into conversation about how worth it the cleaning service is – particularly when you have kid(s).

All of a sudden, Hello Kitty Toaster chimed in, saying I like to burn the calories and see all my hard work in the finished results !! Plus cleaning supplies last a long time… doesn’t equal the price of a cleaning lady !! just saying…

Fair enough.

I responded, continuing the conversation. For one, maybe I just live with complete and utter slobs, but we go through cleaning supplies like gang busters and when the cleaning service only charges $60 to completely disinfect, deallergen, and clean up after us, the net increase in the monthly budget is negligible. So I mentioned this. I also mentioned that there also is the “I’m not a slave”-factor, in the sense that just because I am a woman does not mean I have to spend all my time cooking and cleaning. (And in truth, I still have to clean up after the slobs…) The last comment I made on it was simply that having children around when you are trying to clean is much different than having no children (Hello Kitty Toaster of course falls into the latter category).

hmmm… well lets agree to disagree … no judgement here !! Just a different opinion

Fuck you, Hello Kitty Toaster. I hate it when people say that. It’s like the proverbial “I have nothing to say but am going to ignore your comments anyway.” I didn’t actually say fuck you – (despite the fact that her husband once told me to “go fuck yourself off” – great family, eh?…), but I wanted to. In the end, with her pithy “agree to disagree despite the conversation going on”-response, Hello Kitty Toaster shut the conversation down, leaving me annoyed and feeling like the housewife gong had again been struck.

Thanks, buzz kill.

But does she have a point? Is it better to clean house? She’s a housewife, although she has no kids. She actually does little but teach dance classes to children and some sort of yoga to adults. I’m not one to judge whether her existence is meaningful or not, although beyond this “teaching,” she is often nothing more than a bimbo. A blonde, uneducated, LOLOMGROFL !! bimbo. And – as I said – a housewife. A housewife who prepares her husband’s plate for him as if his arms are broken.

But still … does she have a point?

After thinking about it for the better half of the day, I still stick by a resounding “NO.” This isn’t the 1950s anymore, and while there is something to be said about a woman that will cook her man a nice dinner once in a while, this should not come as an expectation by any standard of judgment. Even when women don’t work – when they stay at home and raise the kids, or stay at home and work on other projects – I don’t think that the decades-old standard of housewifery need still apply. If the woman wants to abide by archaic standards of oppression and servitude, by all means, but for me, there’s a simple list of 5 Things a Housewife Should No Longer Feel She Has To Do:

#1 A housewife should no longer feel she has to change her last name. This is such an archaic practice and I’m not sure why people still do it. More over, nothing is more offensive than someone who cannot accept the fact that a woman chooses to keep her former name. My last name is and always will be Schmidt. I have multiple degrees tied to it and there is no reason to switch (something a lot of cultures practice as well…). Accept it or I’ll stop opening your mail.

#2 A housewife should not feel her station in life is to cook and clean. If a woman is not working and she and her husband make an agreement that she will do all the cooking and cleaning as a part of staying home, that is one thing. If a woman is not working for some other reason, though – be it to raise the kids, go to school, work on some other life-fulfilling project that does not necessarily bring home the bacon, then all bets are off the table. Nothing is more pompous than a man that acts like his wife should feel guilty for not cooking a luxurious meal every single night, either.

#3 There is no reason a housewife should serve her husband – food, slippers, whathaveyou. It’s always nice when you are tired from a long day and someone gets you a drink while you relax. Nothing beats coming home to find a plate of food dished up for you. But the concept of a woman fixing her husband’s plate every night – especially at family events for all to see her servitude – is ridiculous. I feel like punching Hello Kitty Toaster in the face, and asking her husband if his arms are broken, every single time I see them do this.

#4 A housewife should not feel obligated to bear children.  Again, every relationship is defined differently, but there are tons of options for having and raising children if a couple wants to do it and the woman does not want to put her body through the trials and tribulations of childbirth. I’ve heard a number of pompous assholes in my day say they could never truly love a child that is not related by blood. I call hog wash on that, and in a big way. A child is a child is a child and blood line does not make them any more or less so, just as sperm donation does not make or break the title of “dad.”

#5 Lastly, a housewife should not take any shit just because her husband is the man of the house. I don’t know many people I could call “men” that lie, abuse, and emotionally manipulate their wives. The other day I read a great article about “gas lighting” – which was described as an epidemic in our country. It is never acceptable for a man to make his wife feel she is wrong for having feelings, crazy for being upset, or the bad guy for wanting something out of the relationship too. Nor is it ever tolerable for a man to scream and yell, or to humiliate, talk down to, or demean his wife. Ever.

Of course maybe this 5 Things … list is why I don’t get treated to date nights and diamonds on Valentine’s Day like most other housewives do…

 

About these ads

50 comments

  1. Sarah

    Why can’t a woman be a SAHW and actually enjoy it? How is that demeaning when we enjoy what we do? I have a doctorate degree. I used to work FT and had a great salary. I enjoyed education, learning and my career choice, but I hated the rat race. It was affecting my health and well-being. I had to get out. I am now a SAHW (with no kids) and I thoroughly enjoy it. I love taking care of my husband and household. I am doing the things I love like volunteering, gardening, cooking and making crafts. I am exploring new hobbies as well. On occasion I will work. I am per-diem and I absolutely hate it. I dread going to work but feel I need to in order to stay up to date on the newest developments. Like I said, I enjoying learning. I feel bad for many of my colleagues because they are miserable but many have to work. I am grateful that my husband works and is fine with me being a SAHW. My point is, do not judge a woman’s decision to work or not to work; to take care of her husband and household or not. It is our decision and don’t try to make us feel bad or guilty about it. Some feminists overshot it when they made women to feel that they are only equal to men if they don’t stay home and if they work. We have choices and can do whatever we want!! That’s the beauty of feminism! Don’t judge us! Stop being so self-righteous. F*ck off!

  2. Destiny

    I can’t believe I just found out about this blog so late, but I feel the same. My mother-n-law has raised her kids to think women are suppose to cook and clean up behind a man like slaves, but my mother did not raise me like this. I was raised that a marriage should be 50/50. So you know what I say f**k them and I’m going to continue being me. Her son married me because evidently he didn’t agree, but when you get around them, he pretends like he expects this. I have a surprise for him. Thanks for your post.

  3. Dana

    Have to say this is spot-on. My husband is in the military, and I stay home- sometimes for months on end due to deployment. I have detested housework since I was a child, but I love to cook. So, my hubs and I have an unspoken agreement: I’ll take care of the kitchen and laundry, he’ll vacuum on weekends, and we’ll take turns on the bathroom. It works for us, but I can tell you that military spouses run the gamut on cleaning. Some are basically household slaves, while others hire cleaners even for the little apartments some people get overseas. The important thing is for everyone to respect their partner, and how they are happiest. One of the happiest and most content wives I ever met was what I would call a slave. Her husband never did anything around the house, he didn’t even know what activities the kids were involved in, but she was very happy. Personally, I think I would have left him very early in the relationship, but to each their own!
    I once had a plaque that hung over the door that I think you’d appreciate. It said:
    Officer’s wife: do NOT confuse your rank with my authority.

  4. linda

    Married and happy. Yeah I get boring and fell not wanted a lot but then I cook my wife supper or out of no where I open her door, quote “my wife marriage just means you date only one women men you still have to squeeze your testacules an surprise her sometimes if not she will get bored” and just by opening her door in a croud of other women she fells wanted an I see her smile as to I do weeks later when she kisses me in the grocery store in front of other men. Its not who dose what when they do it but not carrying if they do at all… chase if they do an you don’t expect it than to me its more intense… when I said not caring I mean don’t look at everything they do and don’t, remember marriage is not a score board. Love just happens you don’t make a marriage you have a marriage. Thanks I liked your blog

  5. Steve bates

    Why is it ok that I run a business and put in 90 hours a week and only have time to run home for a quick supper and a shower, which allows my wife to stay home with the kids and get told that I am on my own for supper because she has a golf game at 4:30. And when I mention that supper is her responsibility it turns into an argument like staying home is degrading. I do buy her nice jewelry and flowers quite often and do other nice things. What year did it become not a persons responsabillity to take care of the whole house when you chose to stay home? Women should appreciate more and stop worrying about wheather they feel degraded because its old school to look after ALL the household duties that come with the choice not to work

  6. Brody

    I treat my wife with respect and work my ass off to support my family. Yes, I expect her to keep the house somewhat clean, take care of the everyday stuff with the kids, and cook most meals (although I actually like to cook). In return, I’m sure she expects me to keep my job and keep making money so we can keep our house, cars, electricity and such. I expect her to deal with the challenges of housework, and she expects me to deal with a very stressful job. We appreciate each other. My wife prides herself on being a good person, homemaker and a good wife. You pride yourself on being a bitch. That probably tells a good story on the quality of person you each are.

    I was searching something totally unrelated when I came across this by the way. I just felt it was too stupid to ignore.

  7. Hey there would you mind letting me know which hosting company you’re utilizing? I’ve loaded your blog in 3 different internet
    browsers and I must say this blog loads a lot quicker then most.
    Can you suggest a good web hosting provider at a fair
    price? Kudos, I appreciate it!

  8. Pingback: STFU Fridays: Food Nazis | B(itch) Log

  9. Pingback: How Pinterest and Instragram Ruined My Life « B(itch) Log

  10. I’m going to be completely honest, but in doing so, I acknowledge that I’m an absolute fruit loop……I like my Saturday housework routine.
    I like putting loud music on, dancing around the house, singing at the top of my lungs while I dust and vacuum and mop floors etc. It’s kind of like my “me” time.
    But in saying this, I a) am a single girl living on my own in my own home, and b) am mildly (or not so mildly) OCD about how certain things are done (read – each load of laundry must be hung on the clothes line in colour coordinated order all with the same colour pegs, and towels must be folded the right way and put away in (again) colour coordinated sets, if these are not adhered to the world will end, or at least a panic attack/ toddlerish tantrum will ensue)
    Oh, and no one messes in my kitchen. MY kitchen. You can cook toast, or make a coffee, but thats the extent I will let any other person go to in my kitchen.
    No wonder I’m losing my mind….and have no husband or children. I’m like this, and still work a full time job, a volunteer job, and study. Someone slap me!
    Did I mention I’m an absolute fruit loop?

  11. I hadn’t read this before and as you may know from my blog I am a stay at home doggie mom/blogger. We, my BF and I, decided together that since his job pays well enough for me to stay home and take care of household duties and the elderly dog that this would be a benefit for us both. I get to stay home and take care of the dog and the house and write whatever and whenever I want and he can go to work and come home to a house that is relatively clean and a dinner that is home cooked, most nights. That does not mean, however, that this is expected of me. I can not tell you how many times I have not gotten around to something that I wanted to get done or was too uninspired to cook a nice dinner and have gotten the “Sweetheart, it’s fine. You do enough.” response when I start to complain about what I didn’t do.
    Sounds to me like Hello Kitty Toaster has a d-bag husband and doesn’t have much self worth to stand up for herself. Anyone who has run a household, stay at home mom or housewife, knows just how much effort goes into keeping a house clean, well-stocked and well fed. Anyone who doesn’t either has never had to clean up after themselves or is so narcissistic that they can’t imagine anything but their own needs and wants. Agree to disagree my ass! I know how hard I work and I don’t give any crap to my sister who has two kids because I know she works at least three times as hard as I do. What a crock of shit.
    Sorry if I am being way blunt, but the Jameson cocktails have kicked in and I can’t stand people who have no empathy. :D
    If she is the person you are baking a cake for I say puke is not good enough, dump a vial of eye drops in there and see what happens. :D

  12. Pingback: 6 Things Pretentious Parents Do « B(itch) Log

  13. Pingback: 4 Things I Wish I Hadn’t Said the Moment I Said Them « B(itch) Log

  14. Pingback: Conversations With Nick | B(itch) Log

  15. Pingback: The B(itch)’s Cave | B(itch) Log

  16. lauriejlong

    Hello Kitty Toaster sounds like an idiot. That said, I would love to get a Hello Kitty toaster for Mother’s Day. I have no toaster because my husband melted mine, and I am sick of making toast in an oven set to “broil: hi.” I would love to see my husband take a bite of Hello Kitty toast and then spew the freshly-brewed coffee I just made him all over the floor I just mopped. LMAO!! Pass the vodka for this deranged housewife! Cheers, Heather!

  17. Pingback: Vacation Wrap Up: Back to Reality | Heather Christena Schmidt

  18. When I read the post pinged to this, I became eager to read this one. Really, more eager than I feel when it comes to opening a bag of potato chips. If you knew me personally, you’d know the incredible signifcance.

    I am at work, and I actually laughed out loud when you wrote “Fuck you Hello Kitty Toaster!” And in my head, I was rooting you on. I loathe that phrase, “Let’s agree to disagree.” Us? What’s that us? Most of that people who use that nasty little phrase are probably too stupid to realize that the appended apostrophe “s” does not stand for “is”. There is no “us” when we’re disagreeing. The whole sentence negates itself! Besides, the only time that sentence can ever be used properly is if two people decide to amicably drop the subject.

    You know what I thought when you wrote about Hello Kitty Toaster being a housewife without kids? Even before I got to the blonde bimbo part, I thought, “This woman wants to be a lazy trophy wife!” Lazy as all hell! And that is a blow at housewives, not stay-at-home-mom’s. Whether you stay at home or not, being a mom is 24 hour job (unless there’s both a cleaning lady and a nanny invovled).

    I’m a part-timer. I work a little in the day, and I’m a mom and a wife full time. I have been a stay-at-home-mom and I will defend them until the day I die. Being a mom is more than just being a woman with full custody of children. It is being a nurse, a cheerleader, a chauffer, a clown, a day planner, a chef, a secretary, a house cleaner, a personal assistant, and more.

    I do those things out of love. Not obligation. And guess who does the cooking? Not me!

    Tell Hello Kitty to choke on her obligatory BJ the next time you see her.

  19. Pingback: Reasons I Am Unambiguously a 1950s Housewife « Heather Christena Schmidt

  20. Pingback: January Roundup: Blogging, New TV, and My Future Second Husband « Heather Christena Schmidt

  21. Pingback: Even B(itch)es Need Breaks « Heather Christena Schmidt

  22. I think that if more people said “Go Fuck Yourself Off,” the world would be a better place.

    For one thing, it would give people something to discuss: “Did he just say, ‘Go Fuck Yourself OFF?’–what does that even mean?’

    Bringing families closer together!

    • Haha! Thanks for commenting! I think I agree with you – it would give people more to talk about, as well as would stop all this repression bull shit that seems to be taking over our society. I know I would feel a lot better if I had said “go fuck yourself off” after all these years hahah!!

  23. Pingback: Things a Married Man Should Never Say… « Heather Christena Schmidt

  24. Pingback: Hello, Hello Kitty Toaster « Heather Christena Schmidt

  25. Pingback: The B(itch)’s Brain Gruel: Happy Birthday Nick, Are you on DivorceBook? and an Award with a Side of STFU « Heather Christena Schmidt

  26. tiffany

    I love this! And I think it applies to all marriages in general, not just when one person doesn’t work outside the home. I think that these are all things couples have to determine for themselves. Some women want to play that role that you don’t want to be in, for whatever reason, and I think thats fine if thats actually what both people want.

  27. Let’s try a little thought experiment, shall we? Instead of a spouse, let’s just pretend your non-working, non-cleaning, non-child bearing, non-cooking “housewife” was instead a roommate. Your roommate. How long would you tolerate someone who doesn’t pay rent, doesn’t buy groceries, doesn’t pay bills, and won’t clean up after or cook for anyone but him or her self?

    I’d give ‘em a week. Tops.

    Your post makes me curious though: in your mind, what exactly are the obligations and responsibilities of a married woman who doesn’t work outside of the home? You sure make it sound like a great gig. If you know anyone looking to take on a househusband where the same rules apply, please let me know. I would love to have someone else go to work all day, do half the cooking, half the chores, and pay ALL the bills while I “stay at home and work on other projects.” But let’s be serious: there’s not a woman on the planet that would let a man get by with that.

    • You’re forgetting who you’re talking to though – in graduate school for a philosophy program, your entire life is taking apart thought experiments. Yours fails on a very glaring ground: a wife is and never will be in the same level of relationship as a roommate. Sure a roommate would last under those conditions for probably less than a week, but since when is a wife a roommate? A roommate is someone that does not involve any sort of emotional, physical, or financial attachment. A marriage by contrast involves all of those things. So what you’re doing there is expecting an apple to live by the standards of an orange. Doesn’t fly.

      Every relationship is different and when two people decide to get married, they set that relationship up. If a woman is going to stay home and have children that doesn’t at all mean that she should feel obligated to thus cook all the meals, do all the cleaning, etc. because she isn’t paying the bills. It means that their relationship is set up accordingly. Why I feel that a woman should NEVER feel obligated to do the things I listed all the time is simply because “work” is not defined by amount of money made. If a woman “works” at one thing and a man “works” at another, they are both working. So why should they both not share in the other things like cooking and cleaning? A comment up, I said the same thing: if a woman actually does have a job but makes significantly less, should she do a greater share of the housework because she isn’t contributing as much financially? That doesn’t seem fair – that she work at a job 40 hours a week just as her husband does but still have to do more of the housework. Raising children is more than a full time job as well, so again – I don’t believe work is defined by money but rather stress and workload.

      I know men that stay at home and raise the children and still only do half the cooking and cleaning and the wives pay all the bills. A guy I knew in Simi Valley involved in one of the political groups I worked with took care of the three kids while his wife worked as a doctor and I remember once I came over and she was making dinner.

      What exactly are the obligations and responsibilities of a married woman who doesn’t work outside of the home? Again, it depends on the relationship and how that relationship was defined. I suppose what I’m really trying to say is that people should not feel *obligated* to do anything. A man should not feel obligated to financially support a woman that does not want to work. If he agreed to do it, that is his responsibility but that is different than an obligation. An obligation is something you feel you have to do whether you want to or not, and which is outside of your control (example: child support). A responsibility is something you take into consideration as a direct result of a decision or group of decisions you’ve made (example: picking up your kid for the every other weekend visit and acting like a father). I don’t feel women should feel obligated to do anything. If they entered into a marriage accepting certain responsibilities, okay fine; but they are not an obligation.

  28. V Pel

    While I absolutely agree that men should not put women down, I do think that if you don’t work (e.g. don’t make any money) and your husband does, I don’t see a problem with him expecting the house to be clean and have a meal or two cooked.

    If he’s supporting you financially, is it too much to expect that you support him in whatever way you can? After all – isn’t a relationship about mutual support? Or are your expectations that if one spouse is working and paying all the bills, it’s ridiculous to expect the other spouse to put in 7-8 hours a day of “work” into the house and/or at least unburdening the working spouse?

    • Thank you for reading my blog and commenting!

      So I don’t actually believe at all in the concept of “supporting” one another financially. It may be neo-feministic of me, but I believe that’s just another way to put women in their place in an effort to “guilt” them (so to speak) to go the extra mile on the cleaning and the cooking. Please don’t misunderstand that to mean, though, that I think people are doing this guilting intentionally (just as I do not believe that the put-downs are always necessarily intentional either) – I think that this is something that we as a culture are conditioned to do.

      As I said, I believe that every situation is different and unique, and I think that each married couple is to define what the arrangement is going to be. An interesting question I have is this: what does it mean to “support” someone? Say a woman works and a man works but the woman makes only a third of what the man makes – is then supporting her also? So if she works 40 hours a week just as he does, but only makes a third, should she still feel that cleaning and cooking is principally *her* responsibility because her husband makes more? And what of the concept of raising children being a full time job? Because it is and anyone that contends otherwise clearly has never raised children on their own. So the woman has a full-time PLUS responsibility of caring and raising the children, but obviously doesn’t bring in money – but if she’s doing all of that “work” why should she feel obligated to do all the cleaning and cooking herself as well?

      I think there is a balance to be had, as well as a clear discussion of these issues early on in every relationship. No relationship is the same and it really isn’t for anyone to decide but the individuals in each and every relationship I suppose. But I do not feel that women today should feel *obligated* to do any of the things I listed. People should do things because they want to, not because they feel some sort of guilt for not bringing in any or as much money; and I think this would greatly change the paradigm and the perspective we as a culture have, which is infinite in its peripheral effects.

      Again, thank you so much for reading my blog! I love the insight and discussion from my readers!!

  29. JWo

    Totally can relate to the whole family issue… I was told by my Mom that my sister was going through a hard time financially and that she was wondering if it’d be OK if she did NOT get us Christmas presents this year.

    Of course this came after we got into it a little over Thanksgiving, but I said it was fine and she didn’t have to get us anything.

    Then right after Christmas, she posts on Facebook that her bakery is closed until Jan. 10, that she’s excited about going to Nashville (4 hours from where she lives) to see the Zac Brown Band and that she’s spending New Year’s Even in Athens, Georgia.

    The least she could have done was thank us for the concert tickets and hotel stay we apparently bought her for Christmas.

    Family: Can’t live with ‘em, can’t kill em.

    Oh and Tammy eventually changed her last night but she doesn’t really do any of the others, so that’s good… right? hahaha…

  30. As a housewife for reasons you mentioned (both geographic location for my husband’s work and currently acting as primary caregiver for our child by day) I relate to a lot of what you’re saying. Certainly household duties aren’t the sole responsiblity of someone by nature of theier gender or their employment status.

    However…despite that I can totally relate to frustrating SILs (I have 2) it sort of feels like using words like bimbo and relating her hair color and education level to her views that you find offensive takes away from the strength of your position…and underminds the spirit of feminism a litte no? Just a thought!

    Enjoying you blog!

    • Hi Lane – thank you for reading my blog and commenting!

      I agree with you in a sense about the blonde/bimbo comments. Am I just pegging her as “just another housewife” and correlating those traits to what housewives are? I can see how that would be seen, but it isn’t actually what I’m trying to do.

      Something I left out of the post was that it isn’t just what Hello Kitty Toaster says that is annoying, but how she says it. Apparently, she “left” school at 15, so she is very poorly educated and seems to pride herself on being something of a Valley Girl. Well, this is all the more annoying because she’s merely perpetrating this idea of what a housewife is supposed to be. Pretty, youthful, perky, and too stupid to ever question the position she’s in; too ignorant to ever do anything other than justify her station as indentured servant. I have never seen people glued to a story more than the one she told a few years ago about checking her hair in the mirrors of the TSA interrogation room at the airport, and what I think this does is just make the housewife image worse. It offends me that this continues to be the mantra of what a housewife is supposed to be like, talk about, and act like in the general society. In other words, I find the fact that you are supposed to be a blonde bombshell and a flippant idiot when you become a housewife to be wholly offensive.

      By contrast, I believe that a housewife can be educated, speak well, and still be a housewife. She can read books and spell correctly, and tell stories that are entertaining as well as enlightening. What upsets me about Hello Kitty Toaster is that by acting like such a Valley Girl bimbo all the time, and lavishing in the acceptance of this behavior that she receives, she just makes it harder to be the former.

      Thanks so much for reading my post!!

  31. Have you seen my pipe and smoking jacket, dear? Are they in the kitchen, where you are tethered to the stove, baking a pie?

    I love it when you are angry! I think you should rename the blog: Musings of the Toaster Antagonist.

  32. I’m guessing, Hello Kitty Toaster sister in law doesn’t read your blog?
    My mother in law likes Sarah Palin. ’nuff said there.
    Also, does the Hello Kitty Toaster really toast Hello Kitty on the bread? Now I want one!! LOL!
    So just kidding about the LOL, I know that pisses you off.

    • No, she does not read my blog. To be a complete bitch, I’m not sure she reads at all. MIL is an email “subscriber,” but not sure she actually reads it – she knows I’m right about Hello Kitty Toaster, though hah. I’m sure HKT’ll somehow end up reading it though and it will be another series of “go fuck yourself off”s. OMGLOLROFL, right? hahaah :)

      So I immediately Google shopped the Hello Kitty toaster, and reportedly Hello Kitty’s face does appear on each piece of toast. I’m thinking of buying it… okay, who am I kidding I already did.

      Thanks so much for reading!

  33. Then what about things like ladies first, opening car doors, paying for the meal? A man must do these things to win a women over… right? Where’s the challenge when everything is split, when I open her door the next time she should open mine? etc. When a man wins over a women’s heart and she wants to spend the rest of her life with him she takes his last name to let the world know that she belongs with him. They are knights in shining armor for a reason. Do you wanna have to slay the dragon?

    • Well if the “belongs with…” thing were so, why not take the woman’s last name? Or why not hyphenate both husband and wife’s?

      I can see what you are saying about the ladies first, opening the car door, paying for the meal, etc…a part of the Facebook tit-a-tat I left out was my rant about how my husband does and has done absolutely none of those, which is one of the reasons I feel like I shouldn’t act like a housewife. Our first date was dutch; and he’s never opened a door for me. Sometimes I think he’s being respectful of my feministic autonomy; other times I think he’s being cheap. But I also would not want to slay the dragon…

  34. I really like this post. I have always hated doing stuff because I had to like kiss my fucking greasy relatives, or give the sign of peace at mass. There is no sincerity in that.

    My Policy is you should only do something because you feel called to it. I am the cook at home despite having irresponsible amount of male equipment, because I love to do it. Also because when my lady is mad at me she puts enough salt and spices in the food to tan my intestines into leather for some fancy books.

    I really feel in all seriousness times have changes and its important to do things from a place of sincerity and practicality and leave all the supposed to crap behind

    • Thanks!! I’m glad you liked it!

      Truth be told, I do the majority of the cooking or order take out, in the former for similar reasons as you in the latter because I hate cooking haha.

      I think if post-modernism has taught us anything, it’s “to each his own.” But not only that, don’t ever assume that some archaic standard of living is still in effect. Really, don’t assume anything hah! And lastly, exactly what you said – do something because you want to, with sincerity. Never because you feel you have to.

      Thanks so much for reading and commenting :)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: