Seriously, lady? (a Korean Hooker Hostage Update)


The Korean Hooker Hostage situation continues to get weirder and weirder, and evermore sexual, each time I go. Today was my every-other-week appointment (like usual) and I almost got through it without a bunch of fucked up shit going down. In the end, though – no dice.

In fact, today was probably the most fucked up of all days.

Let’s first review:

A month ago, I was walking to the bathroom in the back of my local nail salon when I noticed a random woman sitting on the floor of the storage closet. She wasn’t organizing, the lights were off, she wasn’t really doing anything – just sitting there. That very morning, when I checked my blog statistics report, I noticed someone had Googled, and gotten to my blog by doing so, the term “Korean hooker hostage.” Was she the Korean Hooker Hostage?

Two weeks ago, the Korean Hooker Hostage in the closet was gone, but replaced with another debacle: the nail salon owner’s husband clearly having an affair with one of the younger employees, who at the end of my pedicure emerged from the back room deep-throating a banana. I shit you not, she put the entire thing in her mouth in one gulp.

The holidays are over, so they were pretty slow and had hardly any employees working today. My pedicure was done peacefully – I, reading my book; my nail lady interrupting only once in a while to ask a question. By the time it was over, I was relaxed and starting to get sleepy; content in the fact that the nail salon dramas seemed to have settled down. And at that point there was only one other person in the salon, sitting in the chair next to me and waiting for her nail polish to dry.

“You want the massage chair on while you wait?” her nail lady asked her as the remaining nail salon employees disappeared into the back room. “Oh, I’ll just take the BUTTOCKS MASSAGE” the lady replied.

For those of you that have never had the BUTTOCKS MASSAGE in a nail salon massage chair, it isn’t something that just vibrates the sides of your fanny. No, no, faithful blog followers: it’s a full-out assault on your ass and vaganjay, with vibrations, kneading, and circular pressure massage. I didn’t know anyone actually used or requested the feature.

Trying to ignore this lady getting her anal rub down, I started looking around for my nail lady so I could pay and get the fuck out of there before things got weird. Within moments, though, this lady leaned back, closed her eyes, and it got ugly. Quietly, she began to moan – MOAN FAITHFUL BLOG FOLLOWERS – with me (a complete stranger) sitting right next to her. She was starting to spread her legs and moan louder when my nail lady walked out, and the perverted lady clearly on the verge of a nail salon chair-orgasm sat up straight and announced she needed to leave.

Horrified, I took a mental note of what chair she was in, when I also noticed that she didn’t even tip the poor woman that scrubbed her perverted and disgusting feet.

So what’s next, faithful blog followers? This is (of course) not really an update on the Korean Hooker Hostage situation per se, but I fear this is merely a prelude of what is to come…

 

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12 Comments on “Seriously, lady? (a Korean Hooker Hostage Update)

  1. I am mid-pedicure as I type this. Just googled “nail salon butt massage” and ended up here. How have I been getting my nails done for decades without ever having the privilege of a public butt crack attack?? I can’t even reach the remote to save myself.

  2. Pingback: So … I guess I was right about that whole hooker thing | B(itch) Log

  3. Pingback: Vacation Reports 2, 3, 4, 5: I Feel Nice Again | Heather Christena Schmidt

  4. Pingback: Pretzels and Hairy Legs, Another Day With the Korean Hooker Hostage « Heather Christena Schmidt

    • Excellent question. The owner is Korean, so she, her brother, and her cousin are Korean, while three of the other employees are Vietnamese (as evidenced by them talking about it to me in the past).

      Now, I assume that if there is a hostage situation, it’s a matter of the ownership, in which case it would be a Korean hostage. But the Tawdry One who deep-throated the banana last week is Vietnamese, so it could be Vietnamese hookers.

      Korean Hostages
      Vietnamese Hookers
      Caucasian Perverts

      This is getting so complicated… HAHAHA!

      And all the “fun stuff,” I’m not sure. I think it has to do with how hyper-aware I am of my surroundings in public (read: nosy).

  5. Here I think that I’m an experienced and sophisticated man of the world – only to find out that I have NO IDEA what really goes on in nail salons! Lol – I think that I’ve just lost innocence that I never even knew that I had! TFF!!!

      • You’re welcome, and if you do find similar nail salon dramas, I will definitely look forward to reading about it! It’s like opening the door to a strange and mysterious dimension that I never knew existed…

        Thanks for liking my post “Writers Block!” and for following my blog. Since one good follow deserves another, I’m going follow you too – so we’ll be following each other. And if we’re both lost, who cares? We’ll still have fun along the way, and please have a great day!

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