People I Do Not Like In My Community

I’m tempted to make this post just one word. Imagine it, you’d open it up and all it would read would be:


But that wouldn’t be entirely true. I like my father, he’s kind of cool when he’s not getting all preachy on me about how I’m going to hell and need to stop saying the words ‘fuck’ and ‘shit’ so much in my blog. I like most of the people in my book clubs. A few of them annoy me because they can be a little off-putting, or there is that one lady that doesn’t talk to me anymore because I offended her by talking about how Sartre was a plagiarist (he was); but by and large, I like those people.

Then there are all the people I do not like in my community. I’m not really talking about specific people, though, I’m talking about groups of them.

With every word I utter to qualify this, I feel like more and more of a misanthropic asshole, so I’ll just get to it:

Laker fans

It’s playoff season, and as such I am again reminded of how much I hate Laker fans. I was wearing my Bulls sweatshirt the other day in the library, and went to the restroom briefly only for some bitch to tell me that most people would “cut” me if they saw me wearing my Bulls gear. I felt like telling her that her sparkled tank top fitted snuggly over her bigger-than-a-muffin-top, as well as her Courtney Love crack whore make up, made her look like an eye-offending dogfish, but I just smiled and went on my merry way. This isn’t the first time someone has said something like this to me either – Laker fans are the most hateful and viscous people out there.

The “your business is my business” people

A couple of weeks ago, we were heading out to lunch with my parents and someone saw us and said “what, no school today?” Obviously, being a weekday with what is clearly a school-aged child, this type of a question seems somewhat tolerable (if I weren’t constantly asked it). I smiled and spewed forth my usual response “oh, we homeschool and find afternoons are the best time for us.” This time, though, the old battalax questioning me didn’t smile in response and go about her own business – she responded “how can you live with yourself not putting your child in a regular school?”

Seeing how ignorant the public school system made you, ma’am: easily.

People that work in the film industry

I have some friends in the film industry that are really nice people. My husband is in the film industry and he’s not always one of those on the nicer side, but he’s my husband and I’ve learned to tune out some of his more pompous film-industry goings on. But then there are all these pompous assholes that act as though their jobs sweeping the floors over at Warner Bros means they are next in line for a Golden Globe. This is really specific to my area, and I think one of the things that really makes me dislike California. Somehow, the film industry has made itself out to be this glamorous thing, when really it is nothing more than a bunch of divorced people working 80+ hours a week, and talking a bunch of shit about a ton of stuff they don’t know about, just to live job to job.

Passive-Aggressive Thieves

This seems to happen a lot out here, and is what actually prompted this post. Today I went to Wetzel’s Pretzels while shopping for a bedspread for our new bed in the spare bedroom. I was standing in line, getting a crack out of the puny, little geeks ordering their pretzels (“…haha, it’s like Slytherin’ house up in this mall…”), when I noticed this little girl (about 12 years old) sort of leaning against me, or at the very least standing almost on top of me. When I got up to my turn in line, I ordered my plain pretzel and Diet Coke and the cashier went to get my items. The little girl was then physically leaning on me, making me overtly uncomfortable and a little annoyed. When the cashier returned, before giving me my total, the little girl said “can I get a cinnamon pretzel please?” The cashier looked at me and said “are you together?” I stepped over and said “I’ve never seen this girl before in my life, can I get my pretzel and soda?”

That little girl was a passive-aggresive thief. These people don’t outright steal things, but they prey on people they think don’t know any better. I’m sure on a number of occasions, that little girl has swindled a lot of free shit.

Since these general groups of people seem to make up the majority of the community in which I live, I should probably have just gone ahead and said “everyone.” But like I said, I like my book club people and some other miscellaneous people, like friends and family and the ladies at the local BINGO hall. Those ladies are cool as shit.


  1. lauriejlong

    I can’t help it. I love your blogs so much I have to comment on the beauty of every word that spews forth from your fingertips and mind. (Okay, I kinda sound like a cyber-stalker or something, especially after that “If I was a lesbian, I would want a girlfriend like you” comment, but I just think you are the coolest chick ever.) As for the homeschooling, I totally think that rocks. I can say, for one, that I do not have the commitment to home-school my kids even though I think most school districts suck a big D. I have mad respect for you for doing that. You have lucky youth in your life, girl.

    1. Heather Christena Schmidt

      Awww – thanks!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. alienredqueen

    I think you need to take you B(itch) Log attitude to the streets. Some of these people need their opinions shoved up their asses to keep their heads company.

    1. Heather Christena Schmidt

      Fuck yeah!!

  3. jimcolv

    You know it amazes me to no end, how ingenious people can be, or think they are rather. If they were to only put forth a fraction of that energy towards doing something positive, there’s no telling how far they could go. But I guess that’s too much wishful thinking….

    1. Heather Christena Schmidt

      I think it is wishful thinking hahaha, except for in your own personal mantra. ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. hecallsmescroogy

    Heather!!! As a chick that did not grow up a sports fan and therefore has no real loyalty except to say “Hey, My Uncle likes this team!”, I gotta say that it was a true kick in the chin to see how Yankees fans are treated here in ol’ Balmer, Md… Hubby has been actually turned away at the door of certain establishments because he was wearing NYY gear. It’s ludicrous. I say, wear your Bulls gear loud and proud. it’s fucking basketball, people! Damn.

    1. hecallsmescroogy

      okay, also, the homeschooling comment… i don’t know if you know, but i’m a huge supporter of homeschooling. people outside that world don’t understand the huge commitment and responsibility and planning and love it takes to homeschool your kids. she’s closed minded and uninitiated and don’t let her bother you!

      1. Heather Christena Schmidt

        Yeah, homeschooling is SO MUCH WORK! I think the problem is that on TV shows like Wifeswap, they always have some home schooled kid that is totally zany and spends all day beading and crafting and shit, rather than actually learning anything. Thanks so much for your comment ๐Ÿ™‚

      2. hecallsmescroogy

        That’s how a lot of people think all homeschooling is!

      3. Heather Christena Schmidt

        Ironically, a sign of how ignorant and uneducated our education system breeds people to become as adults!!

  5. Finally… Wendy Wanders

    Love it! Where that Bull’s gear proud sista! And oh… love the new look on the blog!

    1. Heather Christena Schmidt

      Thanks so much on the new look!! And I love me my Bulls gear!!

      1. lizfruitberry

        This post did get me thinking about all the crazy people in my neighborhood. You got my wheels turning with this post. Thanks! Great Post. The new theme is a little hard for me to read because the writing is so small, but I probably need glasses.


      2. Heather Christena Schmidt

        Yeah! See .. there are crazies everywhere!!

  6. Chris

    I would have [liked to] kicked that girl in the shin. Ditto the eye comment. Boo Lakers (& Bulls…though would never begrudge you for supporting your team, esp. in hostile territory).

    1. Heather Christena Schmidt

      Thanks!! Well not thanks on “boo” the Bulls, but you are so right about never begrudging someone supporting their team!!

  7. rich

    to the woman who said about you getting cut for wearing bulls gear, you should have said, “where i cut from you’d get cut just for fun.”

    and that 12-year old – i think in new jersey it’s a state law you’re allowed to kick her in her junior pussy.

    that picture of you with the bulls gear – are those really your eyes?? if so, amazing. if not, go with it.

    1. Heather Christena Schmidt

      Those are really my eyes, and thanks haha!! The next time a 12 year old tries to steal a cinnamon pretzel from me, I’m going bananas in the middle of the Wetzel’s Pretzels hahah

      1. rich

        hold her, i’ll kick that thang

      2. Heather Christena Schmidt


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