To the high school girl in the apartment next door, crying with the window open …

… have some self respect!

I wasn’t planning on blogging about anything other than the ongoing saga of my Trailer Trash Mom‘s Mother’s Day Mayhem until after Sunday, and boy do I have a few doozies for you crazy faithful blog followers. But none of them were enough for me to interrupt our regular programming of my TTM … until this girl started crying with the window open like a little bitch.

Have some self respect, home girl!

I get that your boyfriend dumped your ass. I get that you thought you had never felt this way about anyone before in your life. I get that he cheated on you with your friend under the bleachers of the gymnasium between 5th and 6th period. I get it all!! But for God’s sakes – sobbing like someone died is just going too far.

There would be no problem with this at all had I not had a hard time today and wished to just go the fuck to sleep. After getting some sort of food poisoning last night, I continued to feel like crap for the majority of the day which I now attribute less to tainted food and more to the stress caused by my mom. Then our new TV broke. Then my blender crapped out. Then I had to spend all day continuing on with this Mother’s Day meal preparation because in the end I knew that it was best for me to set a good example and be the bigger person, then after Sunday I will (without a doubt) walk away and never look back.

So when I went to bed and was kept awake by this incessant sobbing, I first became annoyed; and second turned into the nosey neighbor that I always turn into.

Of course I’m one of those people that leans against the window and tries to get a real clear shot to hear what all the nonsense is about – why I heard her say that he caused her so much pain by cheating on her between periods under the bleachers and shit. Why wouldn’t I be one of those people? I’m apparently not the only one, either, because while standing there a man walked outside to get something from his car, saw me listening, looked over towards my neighbor’s window where the pathetic sobbing was coming from, and then stood there for about 5 minutes himself listening to the mayhem.

My husband felt bad for her and said I shouldn’t even blog about it. But that’s because he’s not a woman. From experience, I can say with utmost authority that life is full of people out to hurt you. The world will always be unfair. Each relationship that goes down like this will always have been with someone you “never felt like this before” with. There will always be someone that will cheat on you between 5th and 6th period under the bleachers, with your best friend no less. You’ll be lucky if it’s your best friend – usually it’s your sister or someone with a venereal disease.

So, to the high school girl in the apartment next door, crying with the window open – I know all-too-well how much it hurts to have someone treat you like this, but this ‘aint the end of the world, home girl. It’s time to have some self-respect and start enjoying young love while you can still feel it. Before you know it you won’t feel anything, probably because you’ll be so jaded and misanthropic about the cold, cruel world like I am. Then you’ll miss these days that you are wasting sobbing by the back window, keeping self-respecting nosey-bodies like me awake.

The rest of the excitement and scandal and terribly bizarre things I witnessed over the past few days will have to wait. I need to get back to my Trailer Trash Mom. And it’s late. The crying has stopped. Either she passed out from hyperventilation, or her boyfriend called her and apologized. Or maybe her parents shut the window. In any event, I can go to bed now. My TTM and her trailer trash weekend await.


  1. Chris

    Tell her to go hook up with the first guy she sees. Rebound guy will get her back on her feet again. Then tell her she should be happy she’s not 38 years old, washed up, worn out and quietly waiting for death to come rescue her. That should nip it in the bud.

    1. Heather Christena Schmidt

      HAHA! You are SO RIGHT!! I will next time I see her.

  2. alienredqueen

    When you’re a teenager, EVERYTHING is a catastrophe.

  3. swanrose

    After reading this I thought you would enjoy this piece….

  4. gkorula

    As George Bernard Shaw said, “Youth is wasted on the young.”

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