What do Kristen Stewart and the Olympics have in common?

That’s right! This lady doesn’t give a fuck about either!

So I woke up this morning and read my Google News aggregate page. All over it was some kind of bullshit about Kristen Stewart cheating on her Twilight boyfriend. And that he wants to have a heart-to-heart with the director of ‘Snow White and the Huntsman’ to get the play-by-play of how this went down between them off set.

So let me get this straight:

There is an ebola outbreak in Uganda.

There is rising conflict in Syria.

Some crazy fuck just killed and maimed a bunch of people for reasons unbeknownst to anyone in – big surprise – Colorado.

And the economy in this country has been in the tank for what feels like forever.

But the most important news on the fucking Google News aggregate was about this dumb broad cheating on Twilight guy?

Who gives a fuck?

Okay, if you are one that gives a fuck, OK. I get it – you are into this type of thing. Maybe you liked the Twilight movies. Maybe you dig celebrity gossip. Maybe you have a hard on for Kristen Stewart or a herd on (her-hard on) for the Twilight guy and think this might be your big chance. Whatever the case may be, fine! But there are still much more important and relevant topics to discuss. At least on the fucking news, that is. This reminds me of when the United States was invading Afghanistan and Britney Spears was shaving her head. Fucking CNN had Britney shaving her shit on the big screen and the Afghan thing was a little running blurb at the bottom.

More than anything, I just have to say to this Twilight guy (note: I do not know his name because I have not watched any of those movies):

You are hot. Why the shit are you sitting around having heart-to-hearts with the guy your daft, and quite frankly ugly, girlfriend cheated on you with? Move on. There are other fish in the see, yo.

Now onto the Olympics:

I get pride for your country. I get that it’s sort of cool that London hosting it means they can actually have all the events sort of spread out to all the different Great Britain provinces, which makes for cool camera pans when they fly across the map to “check in” over in Scotland or whatever.

I even laughed at that whole meme that was spreading around with the picture of the Queen and the caption “May the Hunger Games Begin.”

But why the shit is it that all the people who could care less about any sport any other day of the year are all of a sudden glued to the TV, Tweeting all kinds of updates, and screaming like Jesus Christ himself just flew on down and scored a goal? My Trailer Trash Mom is one of the worst offenders of this – every time the Olympics come on the TV she is inseparable from it. And then she does this annoying thing where she sits on the edge of her seat like she’s going to pee in her Dress Barn pantaloons, screaming and shouting and acting like her entire life depends on the US of A scoring a goal. It’s stupid if you ask me. Display your patriotism by voting or volunteering or see above for reasons why you should actually cheer on other countries.

The other thing that drives me totally bonkers about Olympics time is the “If blaa blaa blaa were an Olympic sport, I would win the gold medal.” I saw a few earlier today that were kind of funny on my blog’s Facebook page. But then I switched over to mine and almost all the people on there had posted some stupid eCard about what they would win a gold at if it were an Olympic sport. The majority just alluded to a raging alcoholism.

If I were to make one of those up, they would be pretty ridiculous:

If wiping children’s asses were an Olympic sport, I would win the gold medal.

If tolerating hillbilly bullshit were an Olympic sport, I would win the gold medal. 

If spying on my neighbors were an Olympic sport, I would win the gold medal.

If drinking copious amounts of wine to drown out the pitiable state of my life were an Olympic sport, I would win a fucking gold medal and be exalted on the top of Mount Olympus next to the statue of Zeus.

All pretty stupid, right? Well to the majority (note: I did not say all) of the people that have been telling some variation of this joke:

So there you have it: what do Kristen Stewart and the Olympics have in common? This lady doesn’t give a fuck.


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  1. I agree. I get so ticked off when I watch the news (hardly ever) and they talk about celebrities. I do not understand it at all. If I see Paris Hilton on the news…Ugh. That is not news at all. Are they trying to capture a 16 year old audience?

    Great post.

  2. I only care about the swimming, but if I miss it, I can always catch the updates on Google. I don’t care about what is happening in the Vampire’s lives either or any other celebrity.

  3. Amen to that! I always hate even on my Yahoo feed that the first couple “most important top story” of the day things are stupid celebrity shit. Ugh! It’s one reason hubby and I purposely skip news feeds and don’t generally even tune in for the 10 o’clock news in the evening. Too much stupid shit and not enough about the important things, and we have enough of our own worries anyway.

    • Totally agree! I waffle between reading the news feeds and then having periods where I just shut it off because I have my own shit to deal with and it’s nothing but nonsense anyway.

  4. I share your views about the coverage that media gives to celebrity gossip but at the same time there are people who read and watch such stuff and it comes under the category of “entertainment”. I am a media student myself and we learn to strike a balance…but when it actually comes to working…we realize that TRPs and sales (money) rules.

    As far as Olympics is concerned…this is probably the only time when people in India actually support sports like rowing or boxing or anything except cricket and hence, we are glued to our TV because we want to show the people who barely get any support from the government in spite of being such exceptional athletes that we are with them. 🙂

    But hey…this is your blog and your views 🙂 I am just commenting mine 😀

    • Interesting perspectives! Thank you so much for your comments. One thing I have to say – you are a media student and you learn to strike a balance … HOLD ON TO THAT!! My husband is a film editor and he has zero balance whatsoever. He is constantly entrenched in this celebrity crap; and he also is work-on all the time. You have to remember to be able to shut it all off once in a while! 🙂

      • Haha! Well I have seen editors and I think it is universal that they lack balance 🙂

  5. I’ve only just realised that Kristin is not the same person as the Kirsten (? spelling) who was in all those Spiderman movies… Not quite sure what that says about my attention to actress gossip.
    The Olympics were shattered for me in 1984 by one of those types – we were 15 and every event that Australia was in was followed with shreiking and couch jumping.
    Now living in a country who sent only 50 athletes it SHOULD be easy to just watch and enjoy the competition for what it is. Except the commentary draws you in, and the cheering crowds. That said, I did watch some swimming on Saturday and see one world record broken. The grin on her face was huge! That was enough for me this year, telly stays off! Now I’ll stop rambling and get my day happening 🙂

    • Yeah the chick in the Spiderman movies is just as much of an idiot though! I think you are right that a lot of it is getting drawn in by the cheering and the commentary – almost the crowd mentality haha.

  6. I confess, I never care about these sports until it’s the Olympics. I’m such a sucker for them. And yes, who gives a fuck about KStew. It’s just incredibly stupid.

  7. I admit that I love the Olympics, but it’s pretty much because I am in awe of the skill, effort and sacrifice of the amazing athletes. It’s like going to a free cirque show being held in my living room. I don’t scream and jump up and down though, so please don’t lose all respect for me. 🙂

    • Okay, but you are pretty sporty with working out and stuff. I’m talking about these people that couldn’t GIVE A FUCK any other day of the year haha! No respect loss, although if I see you post what Olympic gold medal you would win, I’m going to scream.

  8. Ha ha…the Kristin Stewart bit is silly really…they are so young and I can’t imagine why they are acting like the world has come to an end…bigger issues going on in our world

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