Did Someone Say Funky Pea Soup?

So if you aren’t following me on Facebook, you’ve missed some of the fun that has gone on in my terribly mundane life these last few weeks. Most importantly, you missed the part where I had a little bit of a meltdown because Pookies is on this 12 day trip away from me and we are going on 6 days now incommunicado. That, in combination with my general unhappiness with life as is (I want to move back to Chicago so bad I can taste the pizza) led to my husband worrying so much about my mental health that he decided to send me on a three-day jaunt to Solvang.

I’m fairly certain the decision to do so either came because (a) he knew I was about to get a visit from Aunt Flo and would be particularly bitchy in addition to all this other mental drama; or, (b) considered it to be far cheaper than sending me to a funny farm with straight jackets, rolling meadows, and electroshock therapy for a few months.

Okay, I don’t really think I would need shock therapy, but I do feel pretty in a funk these days.

So today was Day One of the mental health fix.

#1 If the fix for a case of the funks is eating and drinking, Solvang is the place for it.

For those of you that have never been to Solvang, CA, it’s kind of like a faux Danish town. It’s in the middle of wine country and the fresh, local, and Danish food is a big attraction. But it isn’t just the Danish food: it’s any food.

Dinner tonight was at Pea Soup Andersen’s, where I had a turkey sandwich and mashed potatoes. Unlike the rest of the people in the restaurant, I ordered my gravy on the side, which I was thankful for because the serving-size was a full crock.

Did you faithful blog followers get that? A fucking crock of gravy.

#2 If the fix for a case of the funks is doing a bunch of weird, bizarre-o shit while drunk, Solvang is the place for it.

There is a lot of Scandinavian heritage stuff everywhere. Every corner has a fucking windmill on it. And Hans Christian Andersen is their town hero. It’s a little weird. A little local-yocally. But it’s good if you need to get away and slow down so your brain doesn’t fry completely.

After rolling into town, I got everything settled into the hotel, which also has a windmill on the front of it. I drove around a bit, made a little bit of a plan for tomorrow, which will include: visiting the Santa Inez Mission, checking out the 34 inch miniature ponies on the pony farm, wine tasting on the Solvang wine walk, going to the Hans Christian Andersen museum, shopping at the All-Year-Long-Christmas store, and making candles in the candle shop. I’m also going to the casino and thinking about getting a pedicure at the nail salon with a large head bust of Andersen himself in the window.

Could this get anymore random?

#3 If a fix for a case of the funks is shopping … well, we all know that a fix for the case of the funks is shopping, and Solvang is the place for that too.

Tonight at Pea Soup Andersen’s, I picked up: strawberry-rhubarb jam, pumpkin pancake syrup, cinnamon honey, wild blueberry muffin mix, and 9 cans of pea soup, tomato soup, and pea-bacon soup. Tomorrow will no doubt include more shopping. My biggest fear is that I just got my TOMS catalogue and there is a TOMS store in town. That could equal major damage to the pocketbook.


I’m heading off to bed soon. Another part of my funk is that I’m sleeping more. I’m considering it a good thing for the moment simply because when my little sweetsies gets back next Monday life will again get crazy in the kid-way.


  1. cheryl

    Been to Andersons and tried their split pea soup-it was okay. My daughter hated it. There’s not much to see in Solvang, but they are known for their cookies. Bake shops everywhere. Next time, head south to San Diego-gorgeous weather and lots to do. Actually that would be a great trip for you and the kids to visit the San Diego zoo. Theres good places to eat too.

    1. Heather Christena Schmidt

      We actually were thinking on doing San Diego instead but Solvang was just a little cheaper so I went with that instead. We’ve been to the zoo and Old Town and stuff down there and I just love it there so much, it’s definitely on the “again soon” list!

  2. My Threesome With Pancho and Jesus; or, the Most Humiliating Day of My Life | B(itch) Log

    […] am I post a blog about how I can’t sleep and am ready to head back home from my mental health retreat to Solvang, CA – the faux Danish town nestled in the middle of California’s wine […]

  3. Did Somebody Say “Get Me Away From These Douchey Danes!”? | B(itch) Log

    […] My husband freaked out a little bit because I was sitting around crying being so kidless and fancy free, the Pookies being gone for this 12 day trip away from me. For the record, I was not crying because I had free time, but rather I realized how much of a grave mistake it was to allow such a trip to happen. I wasn’t ready for it. Neither was anybody else it would seem, for when I finally was given the dignity of some contact yesterday, I learned that the cell phone has – in fact – been uncharged and off for the whole week, the allergy medicine has been ignored, and teeth have not even been brushed. I’m also pretty down in the funks because I have been wanting to move home to Chicago for about 7 years now to be closer to my family and it’s just not happening, although that is another story altogether. In any event, I was a little loose around the edges, so Poor Nick did what any husband would do: he sent me away. […]

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    […] But yesterday I started off my three day tour of this strange Danish town by sharing with everyone the story of how my husband sent me to Solvang, CA, on a little bit of a “mental health retreat” […]

  5. Connie

    A nice getaway is always a good thing – even better when it’s husband-sanctioned! Good for you that you did it, sounds like it was much needed.

    1. Heather Christena Schmidt


  6. Frugalistablog

    When I read your headline, I thought of Funky Col’ Medina. Or whatever the song is called. Sounds like fun! We have a town here in WA called Leavenworth. It’s super kitschy Bavarian stuff. Like visiting a cookoo clock.

    1. Heather Christena Schmidt

      I’ve been to Leavenworth! It is a bit odd hahaha… Solvang is just so bizarre, I reached my limits with it somewhere between yesterday afternoon and early this morning though.

  7. Teri

    Good for you!! Glad you could get away for a bit. Is that Pea Soup Anderson the place that was featured on Drive-ins, Diners and Dives? I remember a place that specialized in pea soup being featured on Guy Fieri’s show.


    1. Heather Christena Schmidt

      I think it was the same spot. It’s very well known; has been around since the 1920s.

  8. cjackplay.wordpress.com

    Wow! Your hubby sent you on a girlie getaway? How nifty is that. It sounds like a well needed break from reality. Enjoy!

    1. Heather Christena Schmidt

      He DID … it is very shocking actually. I think he was also trying to make up for the whole not-doing-anything-for-my-birthday. He also bought me a portable air conditioner for our apartment.

      1. cjackplay.wordpress.com

        Holy crap-balls! Did you check to see if there were any giant green pods in the alleyway? 😀 Good for you though. It is nice that you can get away for a few days and try to relax a bit.

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