STFU Fridays: Rude Comments


Ugh.

That is a new thing in our house. Everything that is disliked, annoying, arduous- just about anything distasteful – begins with a big, long “UGH.” It started when Pookies didn’t want to do chores and just started flopping around the floor going “ugh, why do I have to do that?!” From there, the trend began, and it seems now it’s every other word out of all our mouths. “I have to put away the dishes.” Ugh. “The laundry needs to be folded.” Ugh. “What’s for dinner?” Ugh.

I’m sure you faithful blog followers can imagine that rude comments, on all fronts, are met with the unhappy groan in a big way. This week’s STFU Fridays is devoted to them.

Rude Comments on the Blog … Ugh

Being a blogger is the most bullshit job there is, I think. Sure, it’s cool to have a place to vent in a no-holds-barred way. Yeah, the community of bloggers is awesome. Will I ever stop doing it because it’s bullshit? No way.

But man are there a lot of dicks on the Internet.

At least once a week, I get a comment on an old post or my About Me page. I have come to emit the “UGH” right off the bat when I see it in my email, simply because it always means one thing and one thing only: someone is attempting (in an anonymous, chicken shit way) to call me an ugly, nasty, dirty, miserable whore. Some beat around the bush and say I’m childish because I stand up for something I believe in. Others go below the belt and tell me I’m a slut. There is also the group of comments that I just know are from my husband’s family and friends (most of whom very much dislike this bitter cup of tea).

Untitled

To all of them: shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up, or at least grow some balls. I have never had a rude blog comment come with an actual identity. You know, someone that has the guts to actually say their name and real email address? Because with a real email address, we may actually be able to talk it out. Sometimes people just got offended by something I said, or misunderstood me – that would be remediable if only we had a real identity other than “UraCunt@fuckyou.com”. But then I’m sure anyone that calls me something like that, or says that I “look like someone gang-banged your face and left you for dead to put you out of your ugly, slutly misery” may not be in the mood to smooth things over.

Rude Comments on Facebook … Ugh

Have you seen anyone post rude comments on Facebook? I see it all the time. In fact, I see it so often, it’s a wonder I haven’t bled to death from biting my tongue in an attempt to preserve friendships with people I am slowly, but surely, losing respect for.

MjAxMy1iOWQ5MGMzNWIxNzczYzNlOne such rude comment is this eCard that goes around regularly about how Facebook is not your diary. That is the rudest fucking comment anyone could make – be it directly or indirectly. Facebook is whatever-the-fuck people want it to be. If someone wants to blather their shit all over about their drama and their life and their various issues, just who the fuck is anyone else to tell them that they are using the social network wrong? If you don’t like it, don’t look at it! And shut the fuck up!

Ugh.

But it isn’t just a comment in a card like that. It’s everywhere. The other day I saw someone post that a girl with no money is made even uglier than her taste in clothes. What the hell? Yesterday one of my friends felt it necessary to qualify her complaint over her Facebook status with an entire paragraph about how she doesn’t usually like to complain on Facebook. In the comments, someone made some rude comment about how she’s “become one of those.” I could go on with these anecdotes for days.

It is as if all of our social barriers have gone away, and rudeness is the status quo. Shut the fuck up.

Rude Comments in Person … Double Ugh

I deal with a lot of rude comments in person. For those faithful blog followers that work in customer service, deal with assholes on a regular basis, or are surrounded by people that feel it their duty to let you know on a regular basis all the reasons why your existence in this world is wrong (I fall into this latter category), then you will really get this one.

Lately I have felt very criticized. Everyone in my family seems to be having a really hard time not telling me why every step I make is wrong. “This needs more…” “You did this wrong…” “Way to screw up…” “You aren’t cleaning this right…” “You folded that wrong…” “Why did you do that the wrong way…” and so on.

In the last week alone, my husband has implied I am a bad mother, told me I really am a bitch; and my father has questioned and argued with my decisions as a parent no less than eight times. Don’t even get me started on my Trailer Trash Mom – UGH, I know.

A few weeks ago, we had guests over for dinner and I was told that I went to college and graduate school to “do nothing.” That apparently spread around the family, and on New Years Eve I was reminded of the rude comment. These types of things occur in our house (directed at me) every, single day.

People that make rude comments like this in person need a big punch in the gut with a shut the fuck up fist. Life is hard enough without some trollish a’hole making things more contentious and miserable.

So, faithful blog followers – I implore you to ruminate on this one a while. Because as I wrote, I realized a few times in recent history that I too could have been construed as having made a rude comment. I mean, I’m called The B(itch) for a reason, right? If you are a rude commenter, please join me in shutting the fuck up. And for Christ’s sakes, stop calling me a cunt on my About Me page. This Friday’s STFU will be meaningless if we don’t.

 

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11 Comments on “STFU Fridays: Rude Comments

  1. It’s my opinion that humanity is a judgmental race.
    Every single time we came in contact with something new we take it, disassemble it and evaluate it following absolutely personal and largely incomprehensible -to others- parameters.

    This belief pushes me to break a lance in defense of those people who invite others to use facebook as a means of communication and not, as you noted in your post, as their “personal anything”.
    Well, if they do not, in fact, desire their private life to be at the mercy of whomever could happen to read their page.

    Mind, I DO NOT, at all, condone a behavior such as the one you used to make your point at the beginning of your post.
    I fact some people should learn to write (and think) before they set to the gargantuan feat of insulting someone. I say gargantuan because, let’s face it, if there was even a particle of wit in that “man” (and I use the term in the loosest sense), that oversimplified two-words slur wouldn’t have made the punch line.

    But I digress.
    My point was that, (even if I agree with you on the general rudeness of people ,and on the fact that if they can’t find a non-confrontational way to express their opinions they should just shut up) I really don’t want to open my wall on fb -or every other social network- and drown in “your” drama.
    If I, by chance, give a shit about it, I’ll phone you and ask, I’ll visit, I’ll read your blog!
    Because while there’s no place for rudeness (and that’s a given with me), there surely is an appropriate space and time for “you” to unburden yourself and vent.

  2. Ya’ know… I think it is such a chicken-s#it thing to say something mean in a comment where you are completely anonymous. I respectfully reserve my right to disagree with anything I read, but that doesn’t give me the right to make hurtful remarks about the writer.

    Because we are two smart women who (kind of) know each other outside WordPress (and you actually know my name and have my cellphone number and you know why I am Undercover– not because I am a chicken), I feel I can be honest with you. But not in a public forum. That’s just lame. You ought to tell these wank-stains to get their other hand out of their underwear and learn to type something worthwhile. Then they can go back to watching reruns of Jersey Shore. *ugh*

    Love your STFU Fridays! 🙂

  3. I agree that more people need to STFU. I think that computers and cellphones have provided an easy out for cowards to say whatever pops into their heads without having to say it our face. I think social media has made it easier for bullies. Amongst teens it’s scary – there is no filter! Amongst grow ups it’s not much better is it?

    I can think of a few people on my FB that post these ambiguous passive aggressive status updates that annoy me. However, you are correct in saying they can use their social media any way they choose. I have a list of these people on my FB that don’t show up on my timeline anymore and I just read that list when I am in the mood for it now.

    As for your family I don’t know what to say. I am probably a bit older than you, but I don’t really bother with people like that any more. I found that turning 40 was a great thing – I have little tolerance for that kind of BS. I also feel little need to people please any longer. It’s actually quite liberating.

    I don’t know if any of this is making sense I am in bed with the flu reading your blog. I think anybody who takes the time to send you such outrageously negative comments and then hides anonymously behind some made up email address doesn’t deserve to have their comment posted anyway. And your family if they are going to be so rude doesn’t deserve your time or effort. As far as husbands I am pretty sure they all think we’re bitches depending on the day…

    Back to my crazy DayQuil nap!

  4. I have missed you! Work has been crazy busy, what with the holidays and all, but now that is over and I can get back to reading all of your wonderful posts. HUZZAH!
    First let me say that I think if someone is doing their best and it still isn’t good enough for someone else then that person should just let the unsatisfied party do-it-their-damn-selves! Don’t like my casserole? Well get your ass in the kitchen and do-it-your-damn-self!
    Don’t like the way I have ironed your shirt? Weeeelllll … you get the picture.
    And B, (; If you are so unhappy with yourself that you feel the need to belittle others on the internet for speaking their minds well then you, my dear anonymous sir or madam, are an asshole and not worthy of my time. I say good day to you sir.
    You are awesome Bitch! Just keep rocking your own style and doing things your way and ignore those rude complainers.

  5. I personally hate all the whining and complaining and dinner updates on FB, but you are right; who are we to tell someone else to use their social media. As to my blog, I have a Comment Etiquette section where I specify that if you can’t comment respectfully, your comment won’t make it out of moderation. I don’t mind cursing or opinion sharing, but flaming is a total no-no. People can tell me I’m “policing” the comments or that I’m inhibiting free speech…to which I would answer, “It’s MY blog, so STFU!.” My blog is a place for people to feel safe exchanging ideas and if someone can’t respect that, I don’t NEED their opinion on it. 😀 And for your family being shitty to your face, maybe it sounds childish, but you have an acerbic wit, don’t hold back!!!

  6. I recently wrote a post about this same thing. I don’t understand the need to say this shit. If I don’t like something I read online, I close the page and don’t go back. Every time I open comments from a specific “controversial” post I wrote I hold my breath, hoping it’s not someone calling me a whiny bitch or an asshole. This has been going on for a year on this post. By now, the rude comments don’t bug me so much, but it all depends on the mood I’m in. I usually post it, and my “supporters” get into it with them. Just yesterday it was brilliant because some douche wrote a comment as long as the post that started out really reasonable and deserving of discussion, but it became increasingly more rude and angry… resulting in him calling me a “‘spoiled F’N BRAT!'” (For some reason he put quotation marks around it???) I deleted it, and felt great that he spent all that time passionately sharing his thoughts that will never make it onto the post. I’ve realized you can’t reason with these people– they just want to be haters.

  7. It sounds like you need to surround yourself with new people if the ones you’re currently surrounded by treat you like this. What a bunch of shit.

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