Heather Christena Schmidt

Spring forward, Fall back. Stupidest catch phrases to describe an entirely useless, and archaic to boot, system of time. I seem to remember hearing something about how Daylight Savings Time was to help farmers or train schedules or some such things in the 1800s, but I’m too lazy to Wikipedia it; and am happy to just settle on: this seems pointless in the 21st century. We have plenty of unnatural light to guide our travels; oil lanterns are a thing of the past.

Plus, it’s only an hour, for Christ’s sakes.

But still, all weekend and most of next week will be inundated with complaints about how springing forward is exhausting. The kids have to get up an hour early (technically) now and it’s going to be rough getting them to school those first few days. People will be showing up for church just in time for church to be ending for those who remembered to change their clocks. Pandemonium, right?

I even saw an article titled “Spring Forward Might Give You Diabetes” and it was all about how sleeping less than six hours a night for years at a time can contribute to a host of illnesses, including diabetes. Did I miss something? Spring Forward is just one day right? It may take a week or so to get used to, but it isn’t – like – every day for the rest of our lives, is it? We aren’t required to – say – lose an hour of sleep now forever, are we?

No. No we are not. Which leads me to my point:

When you lose an hour of sleep because of a horrifying nightmare, you don’t bitch about it do you? Maybe you do. Maybe that one hour less than your usual eight – just one time – does inspire you to complain; but chances are if you do no one really cares. But surely no one tells you that you’re going to now die of heart disease because of that one, restless night, right?

(Can we even call one hour less ‘restless,’ anyway?)

When you have to get up an hour early because of an early meeting at work, does it ruin your entire week? Does it inspire you to slug along day after day, posting eCards on Twitter and turning it into a national news story?

Have you ever posted this on your Facebook page?

No. Chances are you haven’t. You know why?

Because the majority of us are adults. That means that if we have a hard time getting to sleep; if we suffer from insomnia; if we are stressed about money; if the kid’s soccer game goes over in the evening and we get to bed late; if we travel in different time zones; if we stay up late watching the Punky Bruster Marathon on TBS; if we have an early meeting; if we have an early PTA or PTO or whatever-the-fuck-those-parent-organizations-are-called bake sale; if we have explosive shits from a poor food choice – we suck it up and deal.

So when it comes to Daylight Savings Time, I highly suggest you all do the same thing I do: ignore it. It may be useless, but who cares anyway? You’ve overslept before, for much less reason. You’ve lost an hour or more, for all kinds of things and probably for nothing at all too. It’ll happen again. And it will likely occur many more times than just the once a year that the Spring Forward does (and for many more hours than just one lost). Get over it.