Has the Blogosphere Become High School All Over Again?

Short answer: YES. Long answer:

I wrote a blog about six months ago called “Are Bloggers Becoming Mean Girls?” In it I argued against the notion that bloggers are cliquey. I had seen some bloggers complaining about how they couldn’t seem to “break in” to the mom blog, and other blog community, cliques, and for this they felt a great injustice. In the post, I started by saying:

In high school, I hated the cliques. Now when I think of them I think of Mean Girls with Linsay-the-trainwreck-Lohan. When you have cliques, you have backstabbing. You have cheating. You have a load of gossip. You have more drama than a daytime soap opera. And you have people being excluded for no reason other than that they aren’t “cool” enough, by whatever standards of “cool” the clique collectively determines. I have a hard time believing that bloggers have become Mean Girls.

Either I was terribly wrong, or things have changed. A lot. Today – over six months after writing that blog – I believe more than ever that bloggers are the new Mean Girls. In fact, I know exactly who could be slated as the main characters (although I’ll keep that opinion to myself).

Let’s examine how my opinions have changed.

#1 Good versus Bad Content

In my post six months ago, I argued that maybe it isn’t really you or your blog, per se; just that you were not one of the more popular blogs because you had an absence of good blog content. And this is perhaps the most compelling reason in my mind now for proof that the blogosphere has become high school all over again: there is more bad content out there than my mom’s supply of edible panties.

It’s just like in high school. The meanest and ugliest girls were always the most popular. The douchiest guys with the worst acne were co-captains of the football team.

Sure, when you give access to a portal of information sharing to anyone and everyone, you’re going to have gads of bad content. But I’m not just talking about your run-of-the-mill crap that never gets around. I’m referring to the truly bad content that gets thousands (dare I suggest millions?) of hits. That everyone knows about. The bad content that people “like” and comment and share and find witty, in spite of its over all dryness, lack of whit, lack of insight, and glaring grammatical errors.

Here’s the deal: if you are going to call yourself a writer, be one. Only post what’s good. Get the opinion of others (and by that I mean objective others, not your BFFs) before you just assume that anything coming out of you is the next best thing to bars of gold. If you think you’re a writer, prove it with good spelling and appropriate grammar, and nipping your verbosity problem in the bud once and for all. Make sure everything you write about has something to do with your overall point. And for God’s sakes, make sure your blog post makes at least one ounce of sense.

Otherwise, you’re just another pimply captain of the football team, or mean girl wandering the halls of high school. You may be popular, but in the end your blog is nothing but garbage.

#2 Lying versus Honesty

I think that when I wrote that post last year, I was terribly idealistic as to the nature of the blog community. I suggested that your blog may not be that popular because you are dishonest. I really believed that truth prevailed in the world of the blogosphere – as if it is not merely a microcosm of the world at large, where the only people who truly prevail are those whose words uttered are rarely truth.

In high school, everyone creates themselves and others through a series of lies. That’s how the gossip train starts as well. In real life, we’re all supposed to transcend beyond all this lying bullshit and to achieve our successes off honesty.

How infrequently that happens – in life, as well as the blogosphere.

I know a lot of big gun bloggers that lie through their teeth, so much so that there is probably little truth to anything they say. It’s one thing to be anonymous or to change characteristics of people for safety and fairness and such. It’s another thing to fake celebrity endorsements. To claim site statistics that the public record on Alexa shows are clearly false. To say you write for all these different sites, when in fact those sites wouldn’t touch you with a ten foot poll.

To call yourself a writer.

Not to get too uppity about this, but there is actually a criteria for calling yourself a writer. Any old blogger is not a writer. For one, a writer of fiction and Fox News has the liberty to lie. The rest do not. For two, a writer writes good content with attention to rules of writing – as mentioned in point #1. (And to those you unaware, yes: there are rules of writing.) Without some attention to these things, some honesty and brevity, a blogger cannot call him or herself a writer any more than I can call myself the Dalai Lama or Mother Theresa.

Well they can, but it would be a lie.

#3 Gossip and Exclusion

What I’ve learned more than anything over the last six months since writing “Are Bloggers Becoming Mean Girls?” is that the blogosphere (at least the parenting blog blogosphere) is loaded with gossip and exclusion. Really great blogs are excluded all the time – and I can’t really put my finger on why. There is a lot of “you pat my back, I’ll then turn that back on you and pretend we don’t know each other” as well. I see it all the time, and is another thing I spoke to the contrary six months ago.

And the gossip is worse than high school. In high school the gossip hurt – don’t get me wrong, it did. People said I stuffed my bra when my boobs grew overnight. That hurt, but it went away eventually. I got over it. One time a friend of mine was dating another friend and a gossip train started that she was cheating on him. That caused some drama in our circle of friends; yet, perhaps more mature than some of the adults I know in the blogging community, as a group we talked about it and it all worked out.

Not in the blog community, though. Here the gossip runs rampant. There is no end to it. There are no resolutions. So and so is doing this to screw everyone else. This writer is stealing content. That writer is not giving us proper credit. God it’s awful, and everywhere – email, Twitter, and the ever-ominous Facebook updates that are meant to be vague, but cause such a ruckus you start to wonder what the point is of any of this.

Courtesy of FriendFace Town ... for more of their satire on all the weirdness on Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/pages/Friendface-Town/484841884903320
Courtesy of FriendFace Town … for more of their satire on all the weirdness on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/pages/Friendface-Town/484841884903320

Here’s the thing about blogging: it’s a double-edged sword. Everyone can do it. But then again, everyone (with a computer and an opinion) can do it. There is a lot of bad stuff out there. There is a lot of good stuff out there too. There are popular blogs, sure; but there are no cool people. As a fellow blogger, or just a reader who likes information other than what the mass media puts out there, take a step back from your old-favorites and take a look around. Falling for the bad content and the lies, and narrowing yourself to a small group for no reason other than you don’t know any better, makes you nothing more than a bleating sheep. For every bit of crap you fall for, day in and day out, there is a world of awesome out there, just waiting to be discovered.


  1. rich

    “To claim site statistics that the public record on Alexa shows are clearly false.”

    what is “alexa”? is that a person, a blog, or is it a place to find statistics? or something completely different?

    1. Heather Christena Schmidt
      1. rich

        oh, one of those things like Klout. like when my FB friends tell me to click on their bullshit so they can increase their numbers. and then i want to pull out my dick and piss on their bullshit, except that their bullshit is on my computer, so, like, i can’t piss on my computer. yet.

      2. Heather Christena Schmidt

        No, it isn’t like Klout – I don’t think, at least. Klout is bullshit, I know. My Klout score always upsets me, just like my Facebook fans don’t “like” me enough, and so on. It’s like all of this was intended to just make me obsess over things that (a) mean nothing and (b) are out of my control. Alexa is nice thought because it does have site information you can view – here’s mine http://www.alexa.com/siteinfo/heatherchristenaschmidt.com#

      3. rich

        why don’t i know you on fb? i feel cheated.

      4. Heather Christena Schmidt

        I was just thinking the same thing about you!


  2. bensbitterblog

    I started my blog a year ago with the intent of just talking about how bitter I am about things. I took some time before hardly anyone was following it. Then I started doing a little marketing and once I did started seeing what you are talking about. Some days I feel like I would rather go back to writing to no one but a few friends.

  3. Chris

    Wait, people read my blog?!

  4. Mrs D

    Yes yes yes yes yes. That is all.

  5. kayma819

    If you are blogging to “break into a community” aren’t you doing something wrong anyway? Whether it be the “mommy” one or any other, if your goal is to be a part of that community it seems like you are automatically going to be fake. Maybe I’m the one doing something wrong here, but I blog for my own enjoyment. Even if its the spare time my daughter allows me to type on my phone, I enjoy it. So I do it. Do I really have to have perfect grammar or it’s shit? I’m not a payed writer nor have I ever been one, but I feel like my nonsense is just as worthy of the Internet as anyone else’s. I hope this doesn’t come across as combative, because in my short time on WordPress your blog is a favorite!

    1. kayma819

      And I can’t fix a single word on the word find! I guess I have NO personality?

  6. Andrew J. Stillman

    Agreed. 100%. These are such valid points, I’m glad you shared them!

  7. The Cutter

    Maybe this is more common in the “mommy blog” community (of which, being a guy, I haven’t been able to break into) but I haven’t seen this. Maybe part of it is due to my blogs low profile, but I haven’t felt excluded by the cool crowd. Do you have any specific examples?

  8. alienredqueen

    Hahah! No offense, but, I could have told you that you were idealistic and naive! In fact, I’d say it’s even easier on the blogosphere to “build up” a preferred or false identity than in real life. And while we’d like to think people have discerning tastes and the capability/willingness to call bullshit, that’s not always the case.

    1. alienredqueen

      PS (I meant naive in hoping the blogosphere wasn’t catty like high school) 😉

  9. anothercleanslate

    As someone who recently went from a lurker to trying out my own blog, this was very eye opening. Thanks for sharing!

  10. Enchanted Seashells, Confessions of a Tugboat Captain’s Wife

    I so agree with you. Half the time I think I’m gonna quit cos I don’t like to play those games, and then I keep doing it, not as long has you have, tho. And I think I’m a pretty good writer; I was a writer before I blogged. I often wonder how some really poorly written blogs have so many more readers and followers; it depresses me, and I feel like quitting. Same with books–a lot of bad books get published, and how come not me? Oh yeah, I know I’d have to actually submit one, but I hate rejection…

    1. alienredqueen

      I concur. I do feel depressed that what passes for writing is often more popular than my own, but I also know there are a lot of people out there that I likely wouldn’t WANT as fans, so, I’m just gonna do my thing and whatever happens happens. 😀 Keep on writing!

      1. Enchanted Seashells, Confessions of a Tugboat Captain’s Wife

        Maybe that’s the lesson here????

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