Category: Suburbia

Stop Calling This A War

The global pandemic we currently find ourselves in is, without a doubt, not a war. It is not. Analogizing it to one is both incorrect, and irresponsible. Let’s walk through this. Donald Trump Is Not A War Time President Early on, after finally admitting that the virus causing COVID-19 infections

No One Understands What It Means To Have Toddlers (Or Just Kids In General) Anymore

I’m not sure what the reason is for it, but it’s as if no one remembers or understands what it means to have toddlers (or just kids in general) anymore. Or maybe it isn’t that they don’t understand. They just don’t care. I have three kids, at various ages. One

The Case For Getting Rid Of Public Libraries

This is going to be an incredibly unpopular post if you read just the title. But hear me out. I think it’s time to get rid of public libraries, on the whole. Just chuck ’em in the trash. Close them all. And – here’s the critical part: start over. My

It’s Beginning To Look a Lot Like F&ck This

Sorry for that whole censorship ‘o’ the title thing, but a lot of times blog posts won’t make it into email boxes if they have swear-y words in the title. Fortunately that doesn’t apply to the content. So here we go. It’s beginning to look at a lot like FUCK

Marie Kondo Opens Store and People Literally Implode From Stupidity, News At 11

If you’ve been on the Internet at any point this week, you know the big news, which is that Marie Kondo – the tidying, Shinto guru who went famous after her books were turned into a made-for-Netflix TV series – opened … wait for it … a store of housewares.

It’s Pumpkin Spice Equinox, Bitches.

I am literally shitting pumpkin spiced foods and beverages out my ears at this point, that is how much I am up in this fall business. I have been for weeks. Every year, I find myself here. Writing a blog post about how fucking fabulous fall is. Others have done

Yo, Privileged Guy At The Tennis Courts

This is for you. The other day I was sitting at the tennis courts where my kids were attending a group clinic. I was sitting in the chairs that border the courts. You know, seating for human beings. There were two other mothers there. We were – like – just

The Russians Interfered With My Dog’s Mayoral Campaign (and I couldn’t even make this up if I tried)

To say I have had a weird summer so far is a gross understatement of the situation at hand. My summer has been so strange, with odd events, weird injuries, and zany outcomes, I’m sort of just hanging on to anything not moving to ride this out for the last

We Need To Discuss Your Summer Plans

“Summer plans,” or – as I like to call them – “just another group of months with the same old shit only hotter” are steadfastly approaching, and I feel like we need to discuss them. We were at the doctor the other day, my 15 year old was having her

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