Heather Christena Schmidt

Mom, first * Writer, second * Misanthrope, always

I took down our Christmas decorations on Christmas Day. I’m not even kidding, you guys. I did. Even before the grandparents were out the door, after watching the kids open an ungodly amount of gifts, I was taking shit down. I’ve just had it with the clutter and the dust and, well, the holiday. I …

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Ugh. I am so sick and tired of people and their popular shit to be upset about on the Internet. Like really. As many of you know, Halloween was just a couple of days ago. I, personally, had a great Halloween. As in, I didn’t do shit. My kids dressed up in their annual themed …

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I’ve always tried to not turn my blog into *too* much of an all-about-me, this-is-my-life, hey-look-at-me-and-my-mundane-experiences-they-are-so-interesting website. But you know I’m a writer and sometimes (most of the time) the only thing I have to write about is the boring as balls things I do on a day to day basis. Yes I said “boring …

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I actually don’t want anything for the holidays. I never do. There are things that I need. But want? I stopped wanting things around the time I stopped getting things that I wanted. Did that make sense? Either I’m a really spoiled brat, or – more accurately¬†– I’m an adult. Somewhere between the birthday I …

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I’ll be the first to admit that when times get tough, I throw in the towel. I don’t mean literally. I don’t – like – leave and return a week later after a blur of booze, parties, and memories I pray were just nightmares. I mean – like – I just give up. Mostly at …

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Let us not beat around the dick on this one: the only (and I mean only) reason why I send out Christmas cards (on the rare occasion that I do) is because I feel an obligation to do so. Not because I enjoy spreading holiday cheer. Not because I get gads of cards in the …

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I hate the holidays. I mean, I think we’ve established that I hate pretty much everything. And everyone. And myself. But I really fucking hate the holidays. Some of you may or may not have been around here long enough to know all the fun details of my relationship with my mother. In a nutshell: …

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