commentary – Heather Christena Schmidt

By Heather Christena Schmidt November 26, 2018January 18, 2021

You Guys Need To Chill With The Elf On The Shelf Hate

I’m going to drop a real bomb on you guys, here. It’s a doozy. Brace yourselves. I do the Elf on the Shelf for my kids. Yeah, that’s right. I … Continue reading You Guys Need To Chill With The Elf On The Shelf Hate

By Heather Christena Schmidt October 14, 2014May 10, 2016

I Don’t Shave My Crotch, and Other Assorted Coffee Time Conversation

I had coffee with a friend yesterday. Coffee is sort of a weird way to say it, though, because I actually don’t drink coffee. So what I had was this … Continue reading I Don’t Shave My Crotch, and Other Assorted Coffee Time Conversation

By Heather Christena Schmidt April 25, 2013April 25, 2013

4 Ways Our 30s Are Still Very Much Like High School

Are you in your 30s? I am. I mean I’m really 28. Again. But according to my driver’s license I am officially a 30-something. Screw you, DMV. In any event, … Continue reading 4 Ways Our 30s Are Still Very Much Like High School

By Heather Christena Schmidt September 25, 2012

Is it just me, or are people taking themselves too seriously these days?

We went to Target today. I had to get some of those Clorox bleach wipe things, some of those toilet flusher things, and deodorant. Don’t want my pits to smell … Continue reading Is it just me, or are people taking themselves too seriously these days?

By Heather Christena Schmidt February 11, 2012

If You Like Reading About Balls…

… well then you should consider reading my dad’s new blog. He writes about all kinds of balls, actually. Not the kind I’ve implied here, though – the less horrifying … Continue reading If You Like Reading About Balls…

By Heather Christena Schmidt February 7, 2012

Please Fix Me

I’m going to get uncharacteristically serious for a moment here. Of course, my title is facetious. I don’t want anyone to fix me. It isn’t that I think there to … Continue reading Please Fix Me