Blogging and Writing, Food and Wine, Uncategorized

Seriously, Guys, Cut the Banter On Your Recipe Posts

Am I the only one getting just a little bit sick and FUCKING TIRED of having to scroll through paragraph after paragraph of banter when I am looking for a good recipe on the Internet? Seriously. We get it. You and Brad were celebrating your two year anniversary and you just knew you had to… Continue reading Seriously, Guys, Cut the Banter On Your Recipe Posts

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An Open Letter To My Husband, Regarding Our Home

Just the other day, I went to my husband's work. I don't often go, but when I do I always like to move things around. He works in film, so they have a lot of equipment - I especially like to fuck with that stuff. I make sure to spill things all over the machines… Continue reading An Open Letter To My Husband, Regarding Our Home

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Dear Friends and Family, I Apologize For My Crap Cooking

You guys remember last week I was whining and bitching about how hardly anyone ate my appetizers, which I stated on more than one occasion I would be making and bringing to put in my homemade football stadium appetizer tray that all the kiddies (and my husband) had requested? And after Christmas I was heartbroken… Continue reading Dear Friends and Family, I Apologize For My Crap Cooking

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Christmas Cuntkies

Hey Christmas: go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself with your stupid lights and stupid expectations and your stupid overspending and your stupid cookies. Seriously. Just go away already. Alright, I'm not really that much of a grinch. Yes I am, but I'm fine with Christmas sticking around if people give me stuff. I'm really revealing… Continue reading Christmas Cuntkies

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I Think I Have An Obsession With Balls

Balls on a stick, covered in frosting and sprinkles. Balls mixed with egg and simmered in cranberry sauce for a few hours. Balls made out of cheese and chutney, rolled in a variety of nuts and miscellaneous hanging fruit. Balls drizzled in caramel and covered in - big surprise - nuts. These will be the… Continue reading I Think I Have An Obsession With Balls

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The Cost of Groceries, or My Weekly Bend-Over By a Random Guy Named Ralph

This morning I did what I always do. I woke up. I grabbed my computer. I scrolled through to see how people were disparaging me overnight on my blog. I'm not saying that people always do, just every once in a while someone disagrees with me and calls me something nasty. Anyway, so I checked… Continue reading The Cost of Groceries, or My Weekly Bend-Over By a Random Guy Named Ralph

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Do You Ever Ask Yourself, “Is This Worth It?” I Do.

I do all the time. In fact, I'm asking myself that right now, over a number of different things. Sadly, the answer to myself is typically "no." Actually, it's usually a lot more assertive than that. It's more like a "fuck this" with doors slamming and things being thrown (well, at least in my mind).… Continue reading Do You Ever Ask Yourself, “Is This Worth It?” I Do.