Buy My Book Now, Or Else My Next One Will Be About You

Kidding. (Not kidding.) Okay you guys, my book was set to come out on Tuesday, June 4th. Tomorrow for me. Today at this point for some of you. Then I … Continue reading Buy My Book Now, Or Else My Next One Will Be About You

The Main Reason You Should Never Use My Bathrooms

I have two bathrooms. One is the kid bathroom, which is decorated with this cute kid-ish nature wall art. The other is our bathroom, which has nature stuff all around … Continue reading The Main Reason You Should Never Use My Bathrooms

Screw Yourself Sideways, Spring Cleaning

I’ve been spring cleaning for about a week. At first it was as it always is – like a new boyfriend. I was excited. My heart a’fluttered at the thought … Continue reading Screw Yourself Sideways, Spring Cleaning

A Merry Cantankerous Christmas To You

Have I mentioned to all of you faithful blog followers before that I hate the holidays? The spending and the family and the lines and the gimme-gimme-gimme-what’d-you-get-mes… it is all … Continue reading A Merry Cantankerous Christmas To You

STFU Fridays: Seasons Greetings, Faithful Blog Followers!

Seasons Greetings, and kiss my fucking ass that is! There has been a lot of talk about Christmas letters lately. Blogs are talking about them. People are talking about them. … Continue reading STFU Fridays: Seasons Greetings, Faithful Blog Followers!

We Interrupt Our Regular STFU Programming For a Burp

Holy Mother of all that is good, this was by far the crappiest, most horrible and heinous week I’ve had in a long time. Don’t get me wrong, my life … Continue reading We Interrupt Our Regular STFU Programming For a Burp

Hottie Maintenance Man and My Trailer Trash Mom’s Crap Pants: A Love Story

Those of you that follow me on Twitter and Facebook (if you aren’t, well why the hell not?) have seen me bitching and griping all morning about how my mom … Continue reading Hottie Maintenance Man and My Trailer Trash Mom’s Crap Pants: A Love Story

Why I Could Never Be a Golddigger

Note, this blogpost is not titled “why I don’t think it’s right to be a golddigger;” or “why I would never be a golddigger.” It’s Why I Could Never Be a Golddigger, … Continue reading Why I Could Never Be a Golddigger