I remember the first time I heard the song "Baby It's Cold Outside." I was riding in the car with my mother. It was Christmastime, I was visiting her in Seattle as I always did for the holidays. We were on our way to some dive bar, where she would hang out in the bar… Continue reading I Can’t Believe I Have To Explain This To You People; How “Baby It’s Cold Outside” and “The Little Mermaid” Have Proven Our Cultural Ignorance
I had coffee with a friend yesterday. Coffee is sort of a weird way to say it, though, because I actually don't drink coffee. So what I had was this blended iced milk with vanilla in it; it was big and full of sugar and something like 600 calories - but who's counting, because at… Continue reading I Don’t Shave My Crotch, and Other Assorted Coffee Time Conversation
I take it pretty offensively when people refer to me as "from California." First and foremost, I don't really like California. It's nothing personal against anyone that does - I just don't gel with it. Secondly, though, I'm just not from there. I'm from Chicago. Get over it. Just because I happen to live in… Continue reading From California
Tough shit. Last week I posted this photo that I found on EpicFail.com of a cat that's owner had covered it in make up. A few people noted feeling a little disturbed by it. Someone else told me that she hoped a herd of cats mauled me while I bitch. Note that I said "...of… Continue reading Oh, I’m sorry. Did my opinion offend you?
The Harlem Shake: another cultural phenomena that makes any of us with an IQ over that of a banana cringe. It's another Gangham Style, or series of photos where people plank in weird places. It's stupid. It's pointless. It reeks of a culture that is easily entertained and entirely moronic. And what's really fun about… Continue reading STFU Fridays: It Ain’t No Harlem Shake
Year of the Dragon Happy Lunar New Year, faithful blog followers! While celebrating the resetting of the Gregorian calendar on December 31st with shit loads of alcohol, whorish outfits, illegal fireworks, and making a host of resolutions to do things you will (a) never do, and (b) never realize you probably should have been doing… Continue reading More Brain Gruel: Year of the Dragon, Family Drama, and a Startling Realization