Tag: dark satire

It’s Beginning To Look a Lot Like F&ck This

December 26, 2019

Sorry for that whole censorship ‘o’ the title thing, but a lot of times blog posts won’t make it into email boxes if they have swear-y words in the title. Fortunately that doesn’t apply to the content. So here we go. It’s beginning to look at a lot like FUCK

Wine Is No Longer A Part of My Narrative

April 29, 2019

I remember the general time period when I started to question whether or not my husband and I were drinking too much, too often. It wasn’t one incident in particular, rather a group of them. It was Easter Sunday several years ago when I walked into a back room at

Just Call a Cab (Mom)

April 19, 2019

Imagine one day you wake up to discover you are an Uber driver. It’s not what you want to do, and definitely not your career path. It takes away from your other responsibilities. And you don’t get paid. But you have to do it anyway. There’s no way around it.

Dinner For One

February 12, 2019

Valentine’s Day is this week. ARE YOU READY? Someone said this to me today when I was picking up my kids from tennis. I smiled and nodded, and said “what about you?!” In reality, I should have said “Dafuq? Ready for WHAT?” Valentine’s Day, traditionally, is a huge disappointment for

We Need To Talk About Kristen Bell’s Menstrual Cup

February 8, 2019

Um. So. I logged onto Facebook this morning, and AGAIN Parent’s magazine threw me for a loop. That makes two days in a row that I felt wronged by them. (Yesterday, which I posted about this morning, was about the re-share of that whole daycare pick up shaming thing.) Today’s

“Day Care’s Note to Parents to ‘Get off Your Phone’ Goes Viral.” Sanctimonious Moms Everywhere Rejoice.

February 8, 2019

COME ON YOU GUYS. I was on Facebook yesterday, and I saw an article shared by Parents magazine, both in the newsfeed and the stories (so you know this is – like – a real clickbait one for them). It read: “Day Care’s Note to Parents to ‘Get off Your

Well I’ve Had A Week. What About You Guys?

January 30, 2019

Well I’ve had a week. And by that, I mean a pretty awful one. It isn’t one particular thing, it’s just thing after thing after thing that’ve gone wrong. Extra appointments. A lot of driving. And a frustrating series of phone calls with AT&T to resolve something that they did

I Can’t Believe I Have To Explain This To You People; How “Baby It’s Cold Outside” and “The Little Mermaid” Have Proven Our Cultural Ignorance

December 5, 2018

I remember the first time I heard the song “Baby It’s Cold Outside.” I was riding in the car with my mother. It was Christmastime, I was visiting her in Seattle as I always did for the holidays. We were on our way to some dive bar, where she would

I Went Camping And Survived

August 28, 2018

Okay, so let’s start this off by saying that to call what I did “camping” is a bit of a stretch. Four nights were in a hooked up RV with running water, air conditioning, and electricity; in an RV park with free Wifi by the beach. Two nights were in

Heather Christena Schmidt

I like my dogs. My kids? Not so much.

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Tag: dark satire

I Went Camping And Survived