Why I Could Never Be a Golddigger

Note, this blogpost is not titled “why I don’t think it’s right to be a golddigger;” or “why I would never be a golddigger.” It’s Why I Could Never Be a Golddigger, which I’ll get to in just a minute. Why I do think it’s right to be a golddigger, quite simply put is because golddiggers get shit…

Name That Wang

Yes, I did just title this blog post “Name That Wang.” Much to your chagrin though, faithful blog followers, I’m not that much of a pervert to post what you probably all thought I was posting. Or am I… Okay, now to the real topic: naming one’s wang or she-cave. Today I went to Kmart…

Relationship Commandments

Let’s not beat around the bush, here:  I’ve been around the block a time or two.  No, I’m not saying “been around the block” in the sense that I’ve whored around and probably carry enough STDs to make a scientist at the World Health Organization salivate with the possibility of using my disease combinations to…

People I Would Have an Affair With

It’s possible, faithful blog followers, that I might delete this post shortly after putting it out there – the idea of it winding up as evidence in divorce court ala Kim Kardashian-style marital values is frightening.  That said, I would never be in a position to even consider or think about or weigh the possibility…

Momma’s Boy

This image was posted on Facebook by one of my friends.  It was a repost, so I cannot fault her too much for it – but as soon as I read it, I knew I would have to blog about it.  Clearly, this was written by some fifty or sixty year old woman, likely going…

Five Things She Says That Really REALLY Mean Something Else

You know why I don’t buy Cosmopolitan, Maxim, Vogue, or any other gender-specific magazines?  Because they always have those obnoxious “when she says she means…” or “when he does he really wants to…” segments, which are so ridiculous and cliche I just want to puke all over the magazine in anger.  Sometimes those types of…

How To Tell If You’re Dating An [Expletive Deleted]

This isn’t just for women, because while some men can be real [expletive deleted]s, I’ve also met my fair share of women that could be described as such.  It doesn’t necessarily apply to only dating, either – it could be How To Tell If You’re Married To An [Expletive Deleted], How To Tell If You’re…

Reason #6,849 Why I Have Always Considered Myself Un-date-able

There are a lot of reasons why I have always considered myself un-date-able.  Among them include:  May No Shave Month, an intolerance for bull-shit, and a strange addiction to buying notebooks.  Those of you that know, or have had the great fortune of dating, me know what I’m talking about (and, to be honest, it…

Top 5 Worst Dates of All Time

You know you’ve had them.  We all have.  A person you meet has a lot in common with you; you seem to get along well, for some reason or another you think they may be date-able.  Either you or they take the plunge and ask “you want to go…” and next thing you know you’re…