My book is out! I could vomit with delight. With Easter around the corner, and my birthday earlier this week (my family – except for my kids – didn’t do much, so I had to be real bitchy and crabby for a few days to make sure they knew I was pissed), I am a…
Tag: funny
Life Goals Achieved This Week
I actually don’t have that many life goals. I used to, but I either 1) achieved them already, or 2) gave up on them. The big one I gave up on was graduate school and becoming a college professor. At one time, it was my only goal; now it’s something I have absolutely zero interest…
I Might As Well Move To Stepford At This Point
Did any of you see the Stepford Wives movie? Either the first, or the second – if you didn’t, you really need to. It’s about a town called Stepford, where everyone acts so stereotypical in their gender roles you’d be crazy to not think something was up. As it turns out in the end (spoiler…
My No-Vomit Rule, and Other Assorted Hypochondrias
I’ve had writer’s block for going on two months now. Haven’t written a thing; in fact, I haven’t even tried. I just stopped caring, and I’m not sure why. But I knew the urge to write, and to write on this blog, would come swooping back at some point. Swooping back like a hard and…
Countdown to Christmas… How To Wrap Gifts
I hate the holidays. I mean, I think we’ve established that I hate pretty much everything. And everyone. And myself. But I really fucking hate the holidays. Some of you may or may not have been around here long enough to know all the fun details of my relationship with my mother. In a nutshell:…
Chicagoland Bloggie Friend Frolic
I’m super duper sorry that I’ve been so minimal on the blog these last few weeks, you guys. It’s just that life got crazy a few days before we left for vacation, and it’s only now calming down as we go into the second week of our month-long stay in the Chicagoland area. So before…
Buy My Book Now, Or Else My Next One Will Be About You
Kidding. (Not kidding.) Okay you guys, my book was set to come out on Tuesday, June 4th. Tomorrow for me. Today at this point for some of you. Then I got an email today saying it would be delayed because of some bullshit on Amazon. I was so devastated. I threw myself around for about…
My Hypochondriosis
I am sick right now, which means I’ve been pacing around for the seven days that I’ve been sick worrying that something very serious is wrong with me. Of course everyone in my family has been sick, and I clearly just have a cold; but in the past few days I’ve self-diagnosed myself with tuberculosis,…
STFU Fridays: Did you know I’m 25 again?
Hah! I fucking wish! If I were 25 I’d be young, spry, and free of my four gray hairs. I would slap the shit out of myself for being so naive and idealistic about the world and politics and how great society is too. (And I’d probably save myself the trouble that turned out to…
