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Roses Are Red; Violets Are Blue; You Will Die A Terrible, Terrible Death

If you have been around this blog's block for a while, then you know I watch The Simpsons daily. I'm talking about reruns - we have roughly half the seasons on DVD and I watch them every night before bed, and also when I inevitably wake up at 3:13(ish) to ponder all of life's problems. I… Continue reading Roses Are Red; Violets Are Blue; You Will Die A Terrible, Terrible Death

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My Christmas Wish List This Year

I wonder if I just became as obnoxious as Home Depot putting out their fucking Christmas decorations in July; or Target playing Christmas music in October. You know that Black Friday actually begins for many stores at 7 pm on Thanksgiving DAY, now, too. Retailers are literally ramming Christmas up our asses. In the interest… Continue reading My Christmas Wish List This Year

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All I Want For Christmas Is An Animal Carcass

Is that weird? I think it might be. I keep seeing all these commercials about what men should get their wives for Christmas. Get her diamonds, they say. Get her a kitchen appliance, they condescend. Get her gift cards to the mall, they suggest (as if I wouldn't spend all my husband's money at the… Continue reading All I Want For Christmas Is An Animal Carcass

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Christmas in September

So a few years ago I had the worst Christmas shopping season of my life. I couldn't find anything I wanted to get. I ended up spending thousands of dollars because I felt desperate and panicked to just get anything. And the day before Christmas Eve, I found out we would be expected to buy… Continue reading Christmas in September