How This Halloween Has Taught Me to Be Less Of An Overachiever

For the last couple of weeks, I have been totally not feeling it with Halloween. This isn’t normal for me. I’m not like one of those weirdos that obsesses over it all year long, and spends more time and money on decorations and shit than the month’s rent. But I’m still usually pretty gung-ho about…

You’re Fuckin’ A Right, It’s Fall

It’s Fall, motherfuckers. Well, it’s been Fall for a few weeks now, but – as usual – I’m behind the game of things. That’s not true. My Fall shit has been up since around August. It was like 102 degrees out, and I was setting up a scarecrow. I’m just slowing down on all the…

Pookie and Poor Nick Make a Puppetshow

So last night my husband participated in a puppetshow Pookie made. I told her to take a short kid’s story and turn it into a Halloween-themed one. Fortunately, I recorded it. I never knew my husband was such a vocalist. On an unrelated note, I’m pretty sure I’ll never be seeing my husband again after…

I’m Over Pumpkin Patches

  That’s it! I’m fucking over it. I’m over the pumpkins. I’m over hayrides. I’m over corn mazes and train rides and face painting. I’m over the gourds shoved down my pants to look like I’ve got a huge penis. Okay I’ve never done that. But I’m over it all. I’m over pumpkin patches. Halloween…

6 Halloween Indulgences

There are exactly two weeks left until Halloween. That can mean one thing and one thing only for this lady: Halloween indulgences. So Halloween is the kick start of the holiday season, it seems. After that it’s like a landslide to New Years. But the one thing that’s different for me than most other people…

300th Post, Ruined By a Jerkface

Well it’s Happy 300th B(itch)es! I had this great post planned. I was going to do a lot of photos. Funny stuff. A list of confessions. And gunk about anniversaries and getting busy. Then this total jerkface ruined my mood, so we’re sticking to the theme of B(ITCH)LOG for this one. This will probably be…

Birthers Gone Wild

My first post on this new blog site was called Birthers, and I have blogged on the topic many times since.  Ultimately, I think that people today have taken having babies (something done for millions of years) to whole new levels of narcissism and stupidity.  It isn’t just the tendency of parents to be obsessive compulsive,…

Hallow-Raunchy

It’s that time of year again – Halloween, which then turns into a flurry of spend-a lot, eat-a lot holidays that end in a night of drunken debauchery to ring in the New Year. Halloween is loved by many (it is #2 in most-money-spent holidays) and, in fact, is a source of hefty nostalgia for…