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Roses Are Red; Violets Are Blue; You Will Die A Terrible, Terrible Death

If you have been around this blog's block for a while, then you know I watch The Simpsons daily. I'm talking about reruns - we have roughly half the seasons on DVD and I watch them every night before bed, and also when I inevitably wake up at 3:13(ish) to ponder all of life's problems. I… Continue reading Roses Are Red; Violets Are Blue; You Will Die A Terrible, Terrible Death

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Just When I Thought My 30s Could Not Get Any More Annoying, New Years Eve 2013 Rolled On In

Happy fucking New Years. Seriously. I hope you have a really nice fucking 2014. Eat a dick. That was directed at my 30-something friends, 30-something bloggy people, and 30-something colleagues in this illustrious career of a pajama jeans-wearing, ass-wiping Stay At Home Mom. The rest of you can skip the dick eating. Unless of course… Continue reading Just When I Thought My 30s Could Not Get Any More Annoying, New Years Eve 2013 Rolled On In

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Two New Years Resolutions I Will Be Making This Year (Even Though I Don’t Believe In New Years Resolutions)

I don't believe in New Years Resolutions. Never have. The crux of my argument is simple: if I want to be a better person in X area, I should just do it. The new year is no more a new start than the morning is. It's just time and my philosophy degree tells me that… Continue reading Two New Years Resolutions I Will Be Making This Year (Even Though I Don’t Believe In New Years Resolutions)

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Countdown to Christmas…Christmas Cards

Let us not beat around the dick on this one: the only (and I mean only) reason why I send out Christmas cards (on the rare occasion that I do) is because I feel an obligation to do so. Not because I enjoy spreading holiday cheer. Not because I get gads of cards in the… Continue reading Countdown to Christmas…Christmas Cards

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Countdown to Christmas… How To Wrap Gifts

I hate the holidays. I mean, I think we've established that I hate pretty much everything. And everyone. And myself. But I really fucking hate the holidays. Some of you may or may not have been around here long enough to know all the fun details of my relationship with my mother. In a nutshell:… Continue reading Countdown to Christmas… How To Wrap Gifts

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Why Can’t I Be A Parent With A Lot Of Time On My Hands?

There are a couple of things going around the Facebook these days and I don't like them. Not one bit. One is about these parents of boys that make their action figure dinosaurs "get into trouble" every night in the month of November. I've had like five friends share it in the last day. Sometimes… Continue reading Why Can’t I Be A Parent With A Lot Of Time On My Hands?

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I May Shop On Thanksgiving

How many friends will I lose over this one? What kind of a backlash will I receive by people that have followed my blog for years? Don't know. Don't care. Seriously - don't wear underwear. You see the thing is, I may shop on Thanksgiving. And I'm getting sick and goddamned tired of hearing about… Continue reading I May Shop On Thanksgiving