Heather Christena Schmidt

Mom, first * Writer, second * Misanthrope, always

There’s been a refreshing and, simultaneously, not-so-refreshing trend this last week or two on the Internet, and that is that people have stopped talking about the demise of American society  and values as we knew them pre-Trump, and moved back to the ol’ getting offended at everything on the Internet. I say it’s refreshing because …

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For two weeks, now, I’ve had a shocking revelation rise to the surface of my brain at least once a day. I mean I’ll just be going about my business when suddenly it hits and I’m like OH MY GOD THIS IS REAL. Just now, I had it again. I was wrapping Christmas gifts, getting …

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By “lost” I mean that I gave them the boot. They were all family. My husband’s family, to be specific. I have an anxiety disorder. It’s mostly hormonal at this point, but the more I deal with it the more I realize it’s also situational. Situational in the sense that I feel a huge conflict …

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Peegate

Heather Christena Schmidt

Peegate. If you are thinking that I’m talking about urine. Human waste. Pee. Pee pee. Wee wee. A scandal about wee wee of Watergate proportions. You would be correct. Today we had tennis lessons in the morning for the kids. After getting them there, my husband and I decided to run home and throw dinner …

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And even then, it nearly killed me. I don’t mean that it was dangerous or wracked with mishap that could have severed my head or anything. I mean I hated doing it so much, I could have died. I literally could have died. Literally. Not figuratively, like a spiritual death. I mean laid down on …

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Opinions are like assholes. Everybody’s got one. I’ve said many versions of that over the course of the years writing on this blog. And in life, in general. It’s probably one of the only cliches I can really get on board with. I’m just not a big fan of them – at least as far …

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This is a lesson I continue to learn, still, after all these years. I used to think I knew everything about being a parent. I was wrong. While I went to college, I worked in a pharmacy as a pharmacy technician. After about a year of working, they invented this thing to help kids with …

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