STFU Fridays: Political Posters

I’m not sure if I’ve talked about political posters before, but we’re going to have a little elaboration today for STFU Fridays. I mean it seems only appropriate now that the conventions are officially over and the vitriolic hate-mongering from both sides of the aisle is about to begin.

Facebook Political Posters:

Shut the Fuck Up

Yeah, sure – everyone uses Facebook for a different reason. Don’t think I forgot that I just talked about that a week or two ago. But at some point, you are going to be permanently hidden from my newsfeed if you continue to post meme after meme after meme after GODDAMNED MEME about your political views, most often in the most radical way possible.

Here are a few of my most recent favorites:

(Posted by four friends)

(Posted by nine friends)

Here’s the thing, Facebook friends: I want you to stay on my newsfeed. I want to hear about when you buy your new condo. I want to know when you get engaged. I want to see the photographs from your beautiful vacation in the Barbados. I want to see all 790 Instagram photographs you post this week of your kid. I want to see all of that and be a part of your life because, after all – we are friends.

What I don’t want to see is your political nonsense being shoved down my throat every time I log onto the computer to congratulate people for their life updates and new pregnancies and amazing jobs.

Shut the fuck up.

Twitter Political Posters:

Shut the Fuck Up

So despite the fact that I hate politics, I do often watch political commentary and the news channels, and I read the Google News Aggregate daily. This political season, I may not pay too much attention because it is usually a lot of frustration for naught, but what can I say – I like to know what’s going on in the world. Typically I watch and read about it all just to find out what else is happening around the world – health, war, entertainment, and other such news.

I also have an humongous crush on Wolf Blitzer.

This is probably the case with a fair number of people that use social media (the wanting to know about what’s going on in the world part). It’s probably the case with a fair number of people that have the Internet. And it’s likely so with probably the majority of people that have televisions. And I think it’s probably safe to say with at least a few of the remaining people that do not have the Internet or do not use social media or do not have a TV, but still have a pulse and read the newspaper.

That means that when I go on Twitter, it is entirely unnecessary for people to be Tweeting the quotes that I just saw someone say on CNN or MSNBC or Fox or whatever channel I am watching over and over and over again, with no other substance in between. I watched the President give his speech this evening. Why was it necessary for me to then read the entire thing quoted on Twitter? I get it: the quote inspired you. THEN SAY THAT!

Or shut the fuck up.

Email Political Posters:

Shut the Fuck Up

I don’t get too many personal emails anymore. Now that we have social media and unlimited texting plans, it looks like email is going the way of the stamped letter.

When I do get emails, they are generally one of two kinds of emails:

(1) Some stupid shit animal or angel photos that have glitter and prayers and chain letter crap on them about how if I don’t forward it to 20 people I’ll die in the next week; or,

(2) Political diatribes.

These upset me because I feel like if you send an email to someone you know, it should be a little more personal and “how are you”/”I’m doing great!” Not a bunch of biased crap about, or in most cases against, any given political ideology.┬áIt hurts my feelings, actually. There are some people that I don’t hear from all year until it’s election time, and then they send me forty damn emails a day, my email included in the list of 200 others cc’d, with a bunch of impersonal, political crap.

Seriously, email political posters: take the time to send a sincere email to me once in a while amidst all your politico crap, or shut the fuck up.

That about concludes our Shut the Fuck Up Friday! Now that the games have officially begun, may we all bury our heads in the sand until November 6th has come and gone. I’m sure by now you are all wondering where I stand on the issues, despite my disgust for political posters. Because I’m a woman and pretty mouthy, am I a Democrat? I used to work for them. When I quit because of the local party’s corruption, did I become a Republican? They’re just as bad. I’m not really sure where I stand. Maybe on the issues, where we all should.

Things That Make Me Feel Better

There are few things that make me feel better when I’m feeling like crap. A drink is one, although that can only go as far as my buzz does. A good book will sometimes make me feel better; although, lately I have been in a bit of a reading funk. As I moped around the house the last few days, missing the Pookies, I realized that there are still a few things I could do to make myself feel a little better than a drink or my book funk ever could.

Comfort Food

Everyone loves comfort food, right? Well, my comfort food is a little different from what I’m sure most of yours is. It isn’t fatty french fries and apple pie (for the most part) – it’s weird food that I don’t get to eat that often, for various reasons.

Green beans and low fat, stove top green bean casserole is by far my favorite food, and a comfort food to boot. With less than 3% daily allowance of fat and low in calorie, this is totally okay for me to eat by the bucketful, with mushroom sauce dripping all over my pathetic and puffy face. I don’t get to eat it often because Pookie is allergic to green beans.

Another of my favorite comfort foods is cantaloupe. Cantaloupe and I met when I was little and my mom always used to have some in the refrigerator for me. When my parents got divorced, cantaloupe was like crack in a city with no dealers for me. It was just that hard to find. Then in adulthood, I started making up for all the time lost. Until that whole Listeria thing last year, and cantaloupe was temporarily robbed from me yet again. Now that the whole Listeria outbreak is long gone, I am back on my crackaloupe train.

Another comfort food is anything with fat free feta cheese. It’s hard to find the fat free feta, but (to me at least) it tastes considerably different, which means saltier. I love salt. Sometimes I think I need a salt lick, like a horse, because I just love it that much. I don’t want to hear any kind of malarkey about high blood pressure, either, because mine is low which is a part of why I crave salt so much.


Lists always make me feel better. Why you ask? Because usually when I feel poorly it’s because I feel there is disorder; and lists always help me feel that order has been restored.

Yesterday I decided to make a list of things I wanted to get done before next Monday. I thought I would take advantage of the kid-free time and get some things done, which the list helped me hone down. Instantly upon completing the list, I did feel better. Of course, today I felt like crap again because I couldn’t get much of my list done on account of the excessive heat, but that’s another story.

Arts and Crafts

I think I mentioned that I was an art major when I first started college, having graduated from high school with studio AP credit. I gave that all up for something my parents felt was more “practical” (yeah … how’d that pan out …), but that didn’t change the fact that the artsie-craftsie side of me still exists.

Arts and crafts always make me feel better. So I’ve indulged in craft overload these last few days. I am making a sign that says “Homeschooling is AWESOME” out of felt. I made a Reading Incentive poster. I created this adorable cups-on-a-pinboard thing to hold pens, pencils, markers, etc. I started knitting the Halloween costumes for this year as well – and, yes, I am knitting Halloween costumes. I also registered to take a painting class at the community college in the fall, which starts next week. This will last beyond my 12 Pookie-free days, but I think we all know I’ve got more issues that make me feel like garbage in the long term anyway, so painting class can only be a good thing.

Crying Like a B(itch)

Not everyone cries. I know people that haven’t cried for years. And I know people that cry at sad times and not much more than that. On average, I cry at least once a day.

This is when you all start learning about all the reasons I probably am a candidate for clinical depression. I don’t want to hear about that about as much as I don’t want to hear about how bad my excessive salt intake is.

So I cry. A lot. Like a b(itch). I actually don’t really cry every day, normally. I cry a lot though; so much so that I can’t remember the last time I haven’t cried or started to tear up at some point each day. This last couple weeks has been pretty rough. The Pookies going on this trip really was a mistake to allow, which I realized only much too late. To make matters worse, for almost three days now the cell phone has been turned off – something that is stressing me out to no end. So how did I cope, besides eating my green beans, making my list, and indulging in arts and crafts?

I cried motherfuckers. Cried like a b(itch).

In the end, it’s never about the problems you have to face, but how you deal with them. Do you sit around and let them get worse? Do you let them define who you are? Or do you cope, however you cope best?

What do you do when you feel like crap, faithful blog followers?