New Years Countdown Series, Day 5: the B(itch) Actually Did Things in 2011

That’s right, b(itch)es – we’re having a New Years Countdown to 2012. Today is the first, although since it’s a countdown it will be (of course) Day 5: 5 days out to 2012 and a whole new year of opportunities to be snarky.

But before I cap off my countdown with the traditional rants and complaints, I thought I’d first go over the things I actually did this year. If you know me well, you know I don’t usually accomplish much – particularly since I left school in 2010 and took up the life of languish. In that time, I’ve tirelessly tried to work on a book and to win some writing-related contests, mostly to no avail though (part because of me, part because of others). But as the year winds down, it appears I have actually done some things worth noting this year:

I finished my Ridiculous Reads Challenge. Originally I just wanted to read as much as I could in 2011 – good, quality books (not that vampire glitter puke crap you get in the ever-growing YA section at Barnes and Noble); then it morphed into the daunting task of finishing 40 good books. A few ended up being utter piles of crap, but the majority were great and I finished them all. To see my list, visit my ridiculous reads page, which will be replaced with 2012’s page in the near future … for a look ahead, I plan on 50 in 2012 with War and Peace kicking off the effort. During this time I realized just how much I love books and words, as well as writing. People call themselves nerds when they spend a lot of time reading and writing but I think it’s the people that read absolutely nothing that are the real losers. (…spoken like a true nerd, I’m sure.)

I was just nominated for a WordPress Blogger Award – the 7 X 7 Link Award. It’s my first and it’s awesome. Muey thanks to Scribbling Hermit for the nomination – faithful blog followers should follow that link, I’m quite a fan of the poetry. Reportedly, the nominee has to make some inclusions to the announcement of said nomination, though, so here they are:

A confession of sorts about me you faithful blog followers might not know: is that I love gangster rap. I’m not even kidding you – stupid, little girl drinking frilly mocha drinks, who is too afraid to drive outside of her comfort zone for fear that some hardcore gang member is going to shank her ass (even if there are no gangs reported in the general vicinity) … bumps rap whose primary words are “fuck” “shank” “guns” “cut” “smoke” “bitch” “bitch” “bitch” “fuck” and more “bitch.”

Seven links of my blog posts that I believe are the cream of the crop: Most Surprisingly Successful Korean Hooker Hostage (I’m on to these people…), Most Underrated The Many Types of Hugs (which I still am in need of, even the terrifying yet at the same time satisfying junk-mashing one), Most Popular How to Have a Hillbilly Thanksgiving (coming up on the countdown – How to Have a Hillbilly New Years Celebration), Most Beautiful People I Would Have an Affair With (a few of which, I am starting to think I actually would …), Most Helpful Profile of a Douche (for it’s applicability and helpfulness to the general population), Most Controversial Stop Being Such a P*s*y (for the number of conversations inspired), and Most Pride Worthy The World Does Not Stop (for its sheer bitchiness and because I used the phrase “on the rag”).

And finally to nominate seven bloggers, who you also should check out because I love them: A Spoonful of Suga (hilariously brilliant), Life in the Farce Lane (love the bluntness), The Life of JWo (I love some of the daily goings-on reported in this blog because it makes my life seem more normal), The Dissemination of Thought (funny. as. hell.), The Eleventh Stack (HELLO! written by librarians about books), Lolabees (for the traveling to places I can live vicariously through in the pictures), and Laughter is Catching (just great writing).

I won a poetry contest in April, and it was for the first real poem I had ever written. (And have since written none.) I don’t think it’s that great – but the group of people judging the contest did.

A Burden To Bear

Feathery Pens. Pillowy clouds.

Ex-tolling crowds.

I, a fool;

Young. Naïve.

Writing, a dream:  covered in shrowds.

Older. Experienced. Lacking elation.

Endless frus-tra-tion.

A sentence

an hour.

Sleepless nights in con-templation.

Voltaire! Voltaire!

He had said to beware!

This hurts.

Sentences strain.

Writing, in reality: a burden to bear.

I’m sure I’ve done other things to mention this year, but these are the three that come to mind (and are probably the most relevant to my blog). I could include other things, like eliminating dysfunctional losers from my life (finally!!) and finishing my manuscript then trashing it – but I think those three above are the most exciting.

Although, there was also that “date” with Wolf  on my 100th blog post … God I love that man …



Hey, speaking of accomplishments, you assholes didn’t get me what I wanted for Christmas this year – 100 Facebook fans. But there’s hope for our relationship just yet – I’ve extended my goal of 100 to my 30th birthday on April 15th. So do me a huge one and click through to “like” my page. And spread the word!