Artsy, California Lifestyle, Marriage, Uncategorized

The 6 Stages of Watching Movies With My Husband

My husband works in film. Well, sort of. He works for a multimedia marketing firm that makes trailers, sizzles, and other promotional materials for upcoming movies (including those dumb, digital billboards you see at the mall). He's in the Disney division, so basically Disney movies have been forever ruined for us - not that he's… Continue reading The 6 Stages of Watching Movies With My Husband

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California Lifestyle, Uncategorized

Toxic People That Are Family Are Still Toxic

There. Someone had to say it. I've written about family issues - generally speaking - on this blog before, and I am sure I'll write about them again. But when I go through the history of my posts on this issue (the family issue), I can see a change in me as I've aged. As… Continue reading Toxic People That Are Family Are Still Toxic

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Roses Are Red; Violets Are Blue; You Will Die A Terrible, Terrible Death

If you have been around this blog's block for a while, then you know I watch The Simpsons daily. I'm talking about reruns - we have roughly half the seasons on DVD and I watch them every night before bed, and also when I inevitably wake up at 3:13(ish) to ponder all of life's problems. I… Continue reading Roses Are Red; Violets Are Blue; You Will Die A Terrible, Terrible Death

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An Open Letter To My Husband, Regarding Our Home

Just the other day, I went to my husband's work. I don't often go, but when I do I always like to move things around. He works in film, so they have a lot of equipment - I especially like to fuck with that stuff. I make sure to spill things all over the machines… Continue reading An Open Letter To My Husband, Regarding Our Home

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7 Ways I Know I’m Married To A Californian

My husband was born and raised in California. I know, puke. He went to college in California. He works in California's biggest industry. Except for a couple of family vacations and bro-rific Vegas trips (double puke), he's hardly been anywhere else. On a daily basis, I am reminded just how much of a Californian he… Continue reading 7 Ways I Know I’m Married To A Californian

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STFU Fridays: Butt Rockets

Oh, where do I begin? If you know me personally, have followed the blog for a while, or read my most recent book, you know that I'm not a fan of flatus jokes. I am not a fan of flatus either. Nor am I a fan of the word "fart." It isn't allowed in my… Continue reading STFU Fridays: Butt Rockets

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Buy My Book Now, Or Else My Next One Will Be About You

Kidding. (Not kidding.) Okay you guys, my book was set to come out on Tuesday, June 4th. Tomorrow for me. Today at this point for some of you. Then I got an email today saying it would be delayed because of some bullshit on Amazon. I was so devastated. I threw myself around for about… Continue reading Buy My Book Now, Or Else My Next One Will Be About You