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7 Ways I Know I’m Married To A Californian

My husband was born and raised in California. I know, puke. He went to college in California. He works in California's biggest industry. Except for a couple of family vacations and bro-rific Vegas trips (double puke), he's hardly been anywhere else. On a daily basis, I am reminded just how much of a Californian he… Continue reading 7 Ways I Know I’m Married To A Californian

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STFU Fridays: Butt Rockets

Oh, where do I begin? If you know me personally, have followed the blog for a while, or read my most recent book, you know that I'm not a fan of flatus jokes. I am not a fan of flatus either. Nor am I a fan of the word "fart." It isn't allowed in my… Continue reading STFU Fridays: Butt Rockets

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Buy My Book Now, Or Else My Next One Will Be About You

Kidding. (Not kidding.) Okay you guys, my book was set to come out on Tuesday, June 4th. Tomorrow for me. Today at this point for some of you. Then I got an email today saying it would be delayed because of some bullshit on Amazon. I was so devastated. I threw myself around for about… Continue reading Buy My Book Now, Or Else My Next One Will Be About You

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STFU Fridays: The Letter Of The Day Is F

I have had a really horrible week. Really awful. Everyone around me seems to be acting like an ungrateful asshole. My spaghetti sauce in the crockpot yesterday got ruined because it was sitting by the sink cooling and someone - somehow - splashed rotten milk into it. And our city is burning to the ground… Continue reading STFU Fridays: The Letter Of The Day Is F

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I don’t really understand why The Gays want to get married anyway …

Marriage sucks. I mean it's got its perks (I have yet to find many). But it's hard. My grandmother - married for 63 years before my grandfather passed away, just this February - once said to me "you aren't doing marriage right if it's easy." True 'dat, Grandma. True 'dat. When I got up this… Continue reading I don’t really understand why The Gays want to get married anyway …

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Waltz of the Big Booty Bitches

So on Saturday evening we were celebrating my birthday, a little early. I turn 31 on April 15th, but my dad is having hip replacement surgery next Friday and I'll be spending most of April taking care of him. All we have is each other here, so we celebrated with a little Game Night with… Continue reading Waltz of the Big Booty Bitches

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Mr. Man-Panties

I am in no way attempting to wage any mom-dad-husband-wife-bloggie wars here. In fact, I don't really even know much about the blog that inspired this post: The Daddy Files. It would be terribly unfair for me to take a blog of his and pick it apart without knowing much about him, his intentions, and… Continue reading Mr. Man-Panties