Well, I Guess I’m Not the Cool Mom Anymore

  Today was the last day of tennis camp. I did not send treat bags for all the kids. I did not bake cookies shaped and decorated as tennis balls. I did not bring special activities to add to the camp fun, like bubbles or hula hoops. I drove up in my SUV, and did…

Today I Am 33. Or 133, Who’s Counting?

Today is my birthday. I am, at my core, a Tax Baby. I’m not just saying that I was born on American Tax Day; I’m saying I’m high maintenance. Kidding. (Not really kidding.) There was a time when my birthday was a day-long party. Either I had a party, like when I was little with…

The Next Stage

I was at Barnes and Noble yesterday. I know what you’re all thinking – but wait, we thought you hated going anywhere during the holidays! Well, I do. But I had to go to Barnes and Noble to get what was apparently the last, mangled copy of the map of the world in all of…

Oh the perspective a lunch date with a dead cow can give…

  I’m in Texas, and if there is one thing I have learned in my four days here, it’s that the Texans like their meats. We don’t eat meat very often in California. That’s not entirely true, I serve a very meat-and-potatoes-with-vegetables kind of menu for most dinners; but we aren’t talking Texas meat. Red…

My Maternal Instinct Has No Kill Switch

My mother used to tell me that “they say once you have kids, your maternal instinct never goes away.” I suppose this could help to explain why a lot of mothers experience that Empty Nest Syndrome after their kids grow up and move away from home, or why many women mother their husbands. But then…

After Today, Someone Needs To Nominate Me For Mother of the Year

That’s a literary device we in the professional writing world call: sarcasm. Look it up, you will find it to be a delicious way to poke fun at others. Or (in this case) yourself. Myself. A delicious way to poke fun at me. I’m starting to really wrack up the resume of Bad Mom days….

Today, I Wave My Surrender Flag

We all have these days. Days that are so insurmountably horrible that it’s all we can do to curl up in our pajamas, head buried under the covers – hoping and praying that tomorrow will be even the slightest bit better. If only one thing goes right tomorrow, I may survive. It’s really rough being…

How This Halloween Has Taught Me to Be Less Of An Overachiever

For the last couple of weeks, I have been totally not feeling it with Halloween. This isn’t normal for me. I’m not like one of those weirdos that obsesses over it all year long, and spends more time and money on decorations and shit than the month’s rent. But I’m still usually pretty gung-ho about…