Tag: pumpkins

It’s Pumpkin Spice Equinox, Bitches.

September 23, 2019

I am literally shitting pumpkin spiced foods and beverages out my ears at this point, that is how much I am up in this fall business. I have been for weeks. Every year, I find myself here. Writing a blog post about how fucking fabulous fall is. Others have done

It’s Friggin’ Fall Ya’ll

August 28, 2018

It’s friggin’ fall ya’ll. Ghords and pumpkins and apple bobbing showing up in my Facebook newsfeed. A trip to the pumpkin patch is on my calendar, and there would definitely be cobbler baking in my oven if it weren’t still a million goddamned degrees outside. Pillsbury has like seven new

You’re Fuckin’ A Right, It’s Fall

October 7, 2013

It’s Fall, motherfuckers. Well, it’s been Fall for a few weeks now, but – as usual – I’m behind the game of things. That’s not true. My Fall shit has been up since around August. It was like 102 degrees out, and I was setting up a scarecrow. I’m just

I’m Over Pumpkin Patches

October 23, 2012

That’s it! I’m fucking over it. I’m over the pumpkins. I’m over hayrides. I’m over corn mazes and train rides and face painting. I’m over the gourds shoved down my pants to look like I’ve got a huge penis. Okay I’ve never done that. But I’m over it all.

300th Post, Ruined By a Jerkface

September 17, 2012

Well it’s Happy 300th B(itch)es! I had this great post planned. I was going to do a lot of photos. Funny stuff. A list of confessions. And gunk about anniversaries and getting busy. Then this total jerkface ruined my mood, so we’re sticking to the theme of B(ITCH)LOG for this

Birthers Gone Wild

October 28, 2011

My first post on this new blog site was called Birthers, and I have blogged on the topic many times since. Ultimately, I think that people today have taken having babies (something done for millions of years) to whole new levels of narcissism and stupidity. It isn’t just the tendency of

Hallow-Raunchy

October 27, 2011

It’s that time of year again – Halloween, which then turns into a flurry of spend-a lot, eat-a lot holidays that end in a night of drunken debauchery to ring in the New Year. Halloween is loved by many (it is #2 in most-money-spent holidays) and, in fact, is a

Heather Christena Schmidt

I like my dogs. My kids? Not so much.

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Tag: pumpkins

You’re Fuckin’ A Right, It’s Fall

300th Post, Ruined By a Jerkface

Birthers Gone Wild

Hallow-Raunchy