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Roses Are Red; Violets Are Blue; You Will Die A Terrible, Terrible Death

If you have been around this blog's block for a while, then you know I watch The Simpsons daily. I'm talking about reruns - we have roughly half the seasons on DVD and I watch them every night before bed, and also when I inevitably wake up at 3:13(ish) to ponder all of life's problems. I… Continue reading Roses Are Red; Violets Are Blue; You Will Die A Terrible, Terrible Death

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Good News! The Porn Industry Is Coming To My Town!!

So we ran a couple of errands tonight. Those errands included: dropping a frozen turkey off at my dad's house for Easter Sunday, getting the guinea pig birthday presents for his first birthday (coming up this Monday), and to CVS to get dish soap. I know. Big night for the B(itch) family. As I was… Continue reading Good News! The Porn Industry Is Coming To My Town!!

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I’m Feeling a Little Hair-Brained

Okay, I don't really feel harebrained, per se. Well, at least any more so than usual. I mean that I feel a little frazzled after my day involving my hair. Mr. Wommack, I blame this on you. Yesterday I had an appointment at 9 o'clock in the morning to do my color and get a… Continue reading I’m Feeling a Little Hair-Brained

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My Threesome With Pancho and Jesus; or, the Most Humiliating Day of My Life

I couldn't decide what to title this blog post. I already wrote one early this morning, but then I experienced perhaps the most humiliating and simultaneously hilarious day of my entire life. Mostly humiliating. Think about the most humiliating thing that has ever happened to you. Maybe on your wedding day a bird flew over… Continue reading My Threesome With Pancho and Jesus; or, the Most Humiliating Day of My Life

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Why I Could Never Be a Golddigger

Note, this blogpost is not titled "why I don't think it's right to be a golddigger;" or "why I would never be a golddigger." It's Why I Could Never Be a Golddigger, which I'll get to in just a minute. Why I do think it's right to be a golddigger, quite simply put is because golddiggers get shit… Continue reading Why I Could Never Be a Golddigger

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My Trailer Trash Mom Returns

Have you “liked” my blog on Facebook yet? No? Shame on you… Well, here’s something you can really do for me – click the link for Top Mommy Blogs dot com to register a vote for my site as one of the best. Thanks!! _________________________________________________________________________ It isn't often that you find a sequel that can be called good. Usually… Continue reading My Trailer Trash Mom Returns

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How Pinterest and Instragram Ruined My Life

Yesterday I had a lot of cooking and cleaning to do. I was behind on my usual schedule of cleaning the apartment; and my in-laws are coming over for dinner tonight. This is sort of a big deal because we haven't seen them since late last year - and Hello Kitty Toaster is included in… Continue reading How Pinterest and Instragram Ruined My Life