Those of you that know me, or have been reading this blog for a while, know that I am not a fan of flatus jokes. You know what I’m talking about. I’m sure you make them all the time. Maybe you post comics on Facebook about blowing them under the
I don’t even know why the fuck I called it a “long weekend.” It certainly was disastrous, but the concepts of weekend, or long weekend, are relatively foreign to me. My husband doesn’t get most federal holidays off. I mean, even when he does he’s usually answering text messages or
My neighbor and I both ate our emotions today. Though, while mine was not exactly healthy, it wasn’t quite as horrifying as hers either. Before I get into that, I should first talk about the eating of emotions. We’ve all done it at one time or another. Some people do
Have you guys ever had a day that was just so bizarre it seemed like someone may have slipped some magic mushrooms into your lunch? We’re talking crazy strange – like out of this world strange; and it never happens like just one weird thing and then it’s all over.
Somewhere between my pants ripping open in front of thousands of people at a children’s event this afternoon, and a horse almost hitting our car on the way home, this day got a little weird. I wasn’t at all surprised, though, when we finally got home after the longest day
Those of you that follow me on Twitter and Facebook (if you aren’t, well why the hell not?) have seen me bitching and griping all morning about how my mom was supposed to come over for breakfast around 10 o’clock and did not show up. Well, she eventually showed up,
Sometimes when I’m out to lunch with my dad, he’ll say something along the lines of: “yeez, Heather … you should probably stop woofing down those french fries like there’s no tomorrow, or you’ll have to upgrade to big girl panties.” The oddity that is our father-daughter repertoire aside, I always