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Roses Are Red; Violets Are Blue; You Will Die A Terrible, Terrible Death

If you have been around this blog's block for a while, then you know I watch The Simpsons daily. I'm talking about reruns - we have roughly half the seasons on DVD and I watch them every night before bed, and also when I inevitably wake up at 3:13(ish) to ponder all of life's problems. I… Continue reading Roses Are Red; Violets Are Blue; You Will Die A Terrible, Terrible Death

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I have some random things to complain about…

... so think I'll do it here. Hope you guys don't mind. It all started with - I think - the Superbowl. For one, I drank too much that day. That isn't saying much for me, because I don't drink a lot and I also am a super-duper lightweight. Nonetheless, I drank too much because… Continue reading I have some random things to complain about…

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So I haven’t technically worn a bra since October…

Ah, where to begin... We went to Disneyland in October. I really hate Disneyland, and what I hate the most is that I have to wear regular clothing for a really long time. Like 9 in the morning until late at night. That is just intolerable. During the week (and on weekends and holidays), I… Continue reading So I haven’t technically worn a bra since October…

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I Hope You All Laugh Heartily About My Disastrous Long Weekend

I don't even know why the fuck I called it a "long weekend." It certainly was disastrous, but the concepts of weekend, or long weekend, are relatively foreign to me. My husband doesn't get most federal holidays off. I mean, even when he does he's usually answering text messages or emails or whatever about work… Continue reading I Hope You All Laugh Heartily About My Disastrous Long Weekend

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My Neighbor and I Both Ate Our Emotions Today

My neighbor and I both ate our emotions today. Though, while mine was not exactly healthy, it wasn't quite as horrifying as hers either. Before I get into that, I should first talk about the eating of emotions. We've all done it at one time or another. Some people do it often and don't even… Continue reading My Neighbor and I Both Ate Our Emotions Today

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Today Was A Strange Day, Indeed

Have you guys ever had a day that was just so bizarre it seemed like someone may have slipped some magic mushrooms into your lunch? We're talking crazy strange - like out of this world strange; and it never happens like just one weird thing and then it's all over. It's like twenty weird things… Continue reading Today Was A Strange Day, Indeed

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Just When I Thought My 30s Could Not Get Any More Annoying, New Years Eve 2013 Rolled On In

Happy fucking New Years. Seriously. I hope you have a really nice fucking 2014. Eat a dick. That was directed at my 30-something friends, 30-something bloggy people, and 30-something colleagues in this illustrious career of a pajama jeans-wearing, ass-wiping Stay At Home Mom. The rest of you can skip the dick eating. Unless of course… Continue reading Just When I Thought My 30s Could Not Get Any More Annoying, New Years Eve 2013 Rolled On In