Tag: satire

By Heather Christena Schmidt Posted on

No One Understands What It Means To Have Toddlers (Or Just Kids In General) Anymore

I’m not sure what the reason is for it, but it’s as if no one remembers or understands what it means to have toddlers (or just kids in general) anymore. … Continue reading No One Understands What It Means To Have Toddlers (Or Just Kids In General) Anymore

By Heather Christena Schmidt Posted on

It’s Beginning To Look a Lot Like F&ck This

Sorry for that whole censorship ‘o’ the title thing, but a lot of times blog posts won’t make it into email boxes if they have swear-y words in the title. … Continue reading It’s Beginning To Look a Lot Like F&ck This

By Heather Christena Schmidt Posted on

I’m A Stay At Home Mom Because It’s Too Costly To Not Be

I woke up this morning with a start, realizing it is November 2nd and the gas bill was due two days ago. I’ve been so swamped lately, it just slipped … Continue reading I’m A Stay At Home Mom Because It’s Too Costly To Not Be

By Heather Christena Schmidt Posted on

It’s Pumpkin Spice Equinox, Bitches.

I am literally shitting pumpkin spiced foods and beverages out my ears at this point, that is how much I am up in this fall business. I have been for … Continue reading It’s Pumpkin Spice Equinox, Bitches.

By Heather Christena Schmidt Posted on

Wine Is No Longer A Part of My Narrative

I remember the general time period when I started to question whether or not my husband and I were drinking too much, too often. It wasn’t one incident in particular, … Continue reading Wine Is No Longer A Part of My Narrative

By Heather Christena Schmidt Posted on

Just Call a Cab (Mom)

Imagine one day you wake up to discover you are an Uber driver. It’s not what you want to do, and definitely not your career path. It takes away from … Continue reading Just Call a Cab (Mom)

By Heather Christena Schmidt Posted on

I’m Offended. Here’s Why You Should Care.

My birthday is coming up and the craziest thing has been happening: I’ve been telling people I’m turning a year older than I am actually turning. Either it’s the old … Continue reading I’m Offended. Here’s Why You Should Care.

By Heather Christena Schmidt Posted on

Photo Caption Contest: Day 1

Hey guys! I’m hosting a photo caption contest over on Facebook. At the end of the contest, two winners will be selected at random to win a swag bag and … Continue reading Photo Caption Contest: Day 1

By Heather Christena Schmidt Posted on

The Intolerable Sports Parent

Today, like many Saturdays, was consumed by my kids and their sports. I am among the millions of American parents whose children chose sports activity over something far cooler. Like … Continue reading The Intolerable Sports Parent

By Heather Christena Schmidt Posted on

To The Mom That Doesn’t Want To Be Told She’s “Lucky” For Having a Husband That Helps Out Around The House

Alternative Title: To The Mom That Doesn’t Want What Her Husband Does To Be Called “Helping” Third Rendition: To The Guy Who Feels He Should Receive Zero Praise For Changing … Continue reading To The Mom That Doesn’t Want To Be Told She’s “Lucky” For Having a Husband That Helps Out Around The House

By Heather Christena Schmidt Posted on

An Open Letter To Single Mothers, Everywhere

Suck it up. Yep, I said it. Suck it up. I mean this with the utmost understanding of the struggles you are experiencing. Suck. It. Up. That’s what I read … Continue reading An Open Letter To Single Mothers, Everywhere

By Heather Christena Schmidt Posted on

Dinner For One

Valentine’s Day is this week. ARE YOU READY? Someone said this to me today when I was picking up my kids from tennis. I smiled and nodded, and said “what … Continue reading Dinner For One