Welcome To Texas, You’re Pregnant

I never thought I’d say this, but I miss California. I miss the way you can go outside and not break into a sweat from the sheer heat and humidity, … Continue reading Welcome To Texas, You’re Pregnant

My Threesome With Pancho and Jesus; or, the Most Humiliating Day of My Life

I couldn’t decide what to title this blog post. I already wrote one early this morning, but then I experienced perhaps the most humiliating and simultaneously hilarious day of my … Continue reading My Threesome With Pancho and Jesus; or, the Most Humiliating Day of My Life

Did Somebody Say “Get Me Away From These Douchey Danes!”?

Let me start by refreshing everyone’s memory: My husband freaked out a little bit because I was sitting around crying being so kidless and fancy free, the Pookies being gone … Continue reading Did Somebody Say “Get Me Away From These Douchey Danes!”?

Vacation Report 6: Chicago Food versus California Cuisine

So I’m pretty sure I have mentioned this before, but prior to our vacation to my sweet, home Chicago, I essentially starved myself for the months preceding so that I … Continue reading Vacation Report 6: Chicago Food versus California Cuisine

Vacation Reports 2, 3, 4, 5: I Feel Nice Again

Apparently I am becoming nice again. In fact, as I write this there is a large group of about thirty people in the lobby of our hotel, all making noise … Continue reading Vacation Reports 2, 3, 4, 5: I Feel Nice Again

Porking My Way To My Past

Okay, before you all get your panties in a bunch over the fact that I used the term “porking” in the title of this blog, consider first what I do … Continue reading Porking My Way To My Past

Arch Nemesis #57: the Pacific Ocean

That’s right, here I go again being nutty Heather – adding things to the Arch Nemesis List that make absolutely no sense at all. ¬†Ultimately, I’m almost certain that my … Continue reading Arch Nemesis #57: the Pacific Ocean