Heather Christena Schmidt

Mom, first * Writer, second * Misanthrope, always

It’s cold and flu and cough season. I have had a cough for three weeks now. Obviously no longer at the point of being contagious, I have resumed regular life; although I still get dirty looks every time I hack or clear my throat in the grocery store. You see: most normal and reasonable people …

Continue reading

I took down our Christmas decorations on Christmas Day. I’m not even kidding, you guys. I did. Even before the grandparents were out the door, after watching the kids open an ungodly amount of gifts, I was taking shit down. I’ve just had it with the clutter and the dust and, well, the holiday. I …

Continue reading

Ugh. I am so sick and tired of people and their popular shit to be upset about on the Internet. Like really. As many of you know, Halloween was just a couple of days ago. I, personally, had a great Halloween. As in, I didn’t do shit. My kids dressed up in their annual themed …

Continue reading

I haven’t had much time to write for the last few months. I’ve written, just not on my blog. Still, I hadn’t realized how long it’s been since I checked in with you guys until a couple weeks ago. My daughter was playing a for-fun tennis match with a friend, and the friend’s dad asked …

Continue reading

Well. Where to begin? I am now (apparently) a petty thief. That is if you ask the manager at the La Quinta Inn and Suites a few towns away from where I live. I got a notice from the electric company about two weeks ago that our power was going to be turned out for a …

Continue reading

So I bought a Groupon last week for a local photographer. Let me start by saying that finding a photographer worth the money around here is tough. The good ones are all working in Los Angeles, taking headshots of Justin Bieber. Out here in the ‘burbs, we have a conglomerate of people either licensed and …

Continue reading

I consider myself to be a generally flat person. I don’t mean that I am one of those robot people with no feelings. I just mean that I usually have one mode, unless I’m at home and no one is looking at me: laughing at everything. Maybe flat isn’t what I mean to say. Inappropriate? …

Continue reading