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Okay, first: I don’t hate gays. I love the gays. I love the straights too. I am a straight, I have a bagillion gay and lesbian friends. An old friend took his own life a few years back because of a depression stemming over his family’s rejection of his homosexuality. If my children ever come home and tell me they are gay, not a damn thing will change. I’m not going to tap dance around this for fear of losing followers: I believe in equality for the homosexual community in every way, shape, and form. People are people, regardless of what they do in the bedroom.

If you have a problem with that, you can get the fuck off my blog page. Now.

I’m Catholic. That means I’m a Christian, by virtue of the fact that the Catholics worship and try to follow the teachings of … wait for it … Christ. Christ (the bearded guy who died for all our sins – sins I can only assume did in fact include ancient-style homophobic hatred) preached one thing above all others: love.

Love, motherfuckers. LOVE.

Not judge. Not hate. Not make moral judgments for which you have limited moral understanding. Not claim that you could actually – in a million years – know with absolute certainty God’s agenda.

Love. That’s it.

So are we clear on these things before I go on? Okay, great.


So this whole Phil Robertson-Duck Dynasty thing has got me super riled up. It didn’t start out that way. At first I didn’t care, because seriously I do not understand why in the actual fuck the world is so enamored with those long-bearded hillbillies. Then as the day wore on, I saw more and more people on Facebook and Twitter and all of the other areas of the Internets (which I am now convinced should really be called the “Everyone’s An Expert Soap Box”) claiming that this guy’s right to free speech was being violated because he was suspended from the show for making homophobic comments. Phil Robertson for President Facebook pages were popping up. Keep Calm and Boycott A&E shirts were being sold.

Put down your shot guns and slow your fucking roll, hillbillies!

My friend Ava over at Journey of Jordanna East said it perfectly: “One of the biggest problems with America is that Americans don’t actually know how their own country works. It’s so sad.”

It is true that we have a freedom to speak what’s on our mind in this country. That is – essentially – the essence of the first amendment, though there are limitations. One of those limitations is that it truly is with regards to free speech on government matters. And it does not protect freedom of speech in areas like sedition or treason. I could continue, but this is a lot of technical mumbo-jumbo that’s deviating from the point. Did Phil Robertson have the right to make whatever homophobic, racial, or otherwise comments he wanted? Sure. Of course he did.

That right to say whatever he wanted, though, did not in any way, shape, or form protect him from the consequences of those hateful and hurtful words. That’s just not the way the constitution works.

People don’t seem to have gotten that, though. In fact, even when confronted with this logical discussion, and the basic facts of the constitution, people just seemed to be screaming louder and louder – FREE SPEECH FREE SPEECH. As if just saying that over and over again will refute any and all truth.

1504935_586891554731885_366015547_nAnd as the day wore on, it got worse. Suddenly the world of Twitter was discussing what everyone’s opinions about the first amendment and the definition of free speech is. I’m sorry, huh? Opinions? Interpretations? We aren’t talking about varying interpretations of the color of a person’s bowel movements here. We’re talking about an empirical and constitutionally upheld fact. Are you on the Supreme Court? Then all your fucking opinions are INVALID.

Here we have the reason why I think it’s about time we all get over the Duck Dynasty fad the nation has been enthralled in for years now: all this hillbilly TV has just further contributed to our collective stupidity. Instead of learning about things like the actual freedoms protected by the constitution, we slap ourselves down on the couch for six hours of television every, single night. We scream FREE SPEECH from behind the safety of our computers, all the while refusing to actually read about and understand what freedom of speech really is. And we do it not only behind the security of a computer screen, but under the sanctity of our religious views.

This is why so many people think religious people are ignorant anyway – because they choose ignorance over intelligence time and again, out of laziness and a general sense that saying something (FREE SPEECH!!!!!) over and over again will make it actually come true.

But it doesn’t make it true, no matter how many times you say it; and it doesn’t make Jesus love you, because Jesus does not love bigots. No matter how much the constitution guarantees their rights to proclaim that bigotry.

The thing that is so fascinating to me about the Phil Robertson/Duck Dynasty controversy is that people seem to be too chicken shit to actually say they want him to stay on the show because they hate the gays too. I mean some people are saying it, but more are just screaming that freedom of speech line and claiming Robertson had the right to speak “God’s plan.” Why all these smoke screens? Why not be real and say that you hate the gays too? That the thought of gay sex is icky to you and, therefore, Robertson can say and do whatever he wants?

Is it because of some fear that there may actually be consequences of you exercising your own free speech as well? But if you acknowledge that, then of course you’d have to accept A&E’s suspensions, which would then require you to acknowledge just how inherently wrong others in the world think your hate is.

I hate gays because FREE SPEECH? I love everyone just because.

8 responses to “I Hate Gays Because FREE SPEECH; or, Why We Should All Get Over The Duck Dynasty Fad Already”

  1. Gandalf hates fags? WTF Tolkein?

    Wait, who’s this guy again?

  2. Reblogged this on Step Momma Mary and commented:
    ARRRRGH YES. YES to EVERYTHING in this post. This duck dynasty bullshit has been clogging up my feed for DAYS. I’m so sick of it! Well said, B(itch) Log.

  3. Connie

    I fucking LOVE this post! You are so spot on (as usual) and I totally agree with everything you’ve said. Of course, because we don’t have TV in our house, I have no idea what Duck Dynasty is about or who Phil Robertson is.

    By the way, I, too, LOVE the gays. And the straights and all the ones in between. 🙂

  4. I love this post so much. I’m half tempted to share it on my Facebook (which is flooded with “boycott A&E” crap, and idiotic people) but I know it would be wasted as it would go completely unread. I’m also trying to stay completely out of it just because I don’t want to fade into the rest of the crowd voicing their opinions on this ridiculous dribble, when there’s so much else to talk about.
    But I love this post. I love that you said he had a right to express his opinion as protected by the first amendment, but that doesn’t mean he’s protected against the consequences. People really DO NOT understand that. At all.

  5. THANK YOU for your blunt and honest post…made my day!!

  6. Amen! Americans don’t know how this country works. Period.

  7. A&E has an absolute right to fire this guy before they start to lose the advertising revenues that keep them in business. However, I think it’s ridiculous that we as a society would expect a hillbilly from the backwoods of Louisiana to be the epitome of tolerance and open-mindedness. I’ve never seen the show but from what I’ve heard the thing that makes it entertaining is that these people are filthy rich yet they’re still “Jenny From the Block” and act like the same poor white trash they’ve always been. If people want to boycott advertisers to get the Phil Robertson’s of the world forced that’s their right but in the end it’s going to make for pretty boring TV.

  8. “I love everyone, just because.”

    You have ended a wonderful article very very well.

    I am an atheist and I totally respect your views as a Christian Catholic. I am not a morbid hateful atheist who hates Christians just because…..wait for it…. free speech! I like it when you view everything Jesus taught in focusing it on LOVE. Indeed, if there is a thing a Christian would do is to follow his one and only commandment: Love your neighbor as you love yourself.

    PS. I can’t comment on Duck Dynasty. I am a Filipino but the Philippines has more outrageous shows, mind you.

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